


Wild Guess Judgement // Seeing and Being Seen

by lilolilyrae



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Relationships, But there is no homophobia in the wizarding world, Dark Mark (Harry Potter), Don't copy to another site, Don't copy to another website, Drarry, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Minor Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas, Post-War, Tattoos, it's complicated - Freeform, muggle tattoos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2019-10-10 05:30:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17419979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilolilyrae/pseuds/lilolilyrae
Summary: Everyone comes back for their eighth year at Hogwarts.Each student carrying their own burdens, their own guilt and memories of the war.While still wary of each other in the beginning, Harry and Draco grow closer over time, and learn to help each other.Reconciliation between just about everyone, if you don't like that kinda story don't read it





	1. Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Title by [ this poem](https://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/04/on-seeing-being-seen-poem/) :)  
> I first just planned to call the fic _To Be Seen_ because that's the first thing which came to my mind and that's usually my title finding process, but then after writing for a while it felt too unelegant for this fic and i literally googled 'to be seen poem' and found the poem _'On Seeing and Being Seen'_ by Christy Sharshel, and I really just planned to steal that as my title, without the On, (properly cited of course, which is why I then clicked the link), but upon actually reading the poem I felt like the line _Wild Guess Judgements_ also fits the story pretty well... So that's how it ended up having this trainwreck of a title, because I can't decide :D
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> TRIGGER WARNING slight homophobic language due to internalised homophobia, but it's all good in the end :)
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> **Not beta read, if you want to be my beta for this let me know!**
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> ~ _don't like don't read, all hate I will **delete**_ ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2019-01-22

It's their last year at Hogwarts.

Harry looks along the platform, a chill running down his spine. Will King's Cross always remind him of death, now?

 

Ron waves for him to follow, and Harry takes a deep breath and strides through the masses, trying to ignore the eyes following him wherever he goes.

Their last year... He'll try to make the best of it.

 

Technically, it's an additional year - everyone who had been unable to attend their seventh year at Hogwarts the year before, or didn't feel like participating in the NEWT exams directly after everything that had happened was welcomed back by Professor McGonnagall.

It feels weird, going there again another time- oddly final, in a way.

Before, Harry had thought that his sixth year would be the last he ever spent at the castle- but during the year, he hadn't thought much of it, none of the others were expecting it to be the start of the war quite as much as he already had, and so there was no feeling of goodbye and nostalgia in the air the way it is in a planned last year- although, Harry thinks now, perhaps the nostalgia everyone seems to feel now has more to do with how things were before the war than with how things will change after school.

 

He hadn't planned to go back to Hogwarts, to be honest. Not after everything that happened, everyone who lost their lives in the castle...

But Hermione as well as Mrs. Weasley had insisted they take their NEWTs, and having missed the seventh year entirely there was no way they would pass the exams without going back. Except for Hermione, perhaps... she had her nose buried in a book more often than not, but these days Harry often felt as if it was a gesture of hiding instead of a real passion for studying, and over the summer he and Ron tried to drag her away and to other distractions as often as they could. And Ron himself is carrying his own burdens, the heaviest being the grief for Fred...

Harry hopes it won't be even worse, once they're back at the castle. Not just for his friends, but for himself as well: He's been having nightmares, silent but shaking him to the core, and sometimes after a particularily gruesome one featuring red eyes and green light, he jumps put of bed to alert someone that he's dreamt of Voldemort again before remembering that that is in the past, if anything there are memories in his mind, no prophecy or horcrux-linked dreams.

 

The Weasleys are standing huddled together in front of the train, both Arthur and Molly having come to accompany their children, Molly smiling at him and pressing a parcel of sandwiches into his hands, chattering away.

Harry is glad that they all stayed friendly with him, after he and Ginny had broken up. Sure, it's been a mutual agreement that they didn't work out as a couple, and they've stayed friends, but still- he wouldn't have held it against any of them if it had been too awkward to keep including him into their family gatherings.

He'd said as much to Mrs. Weasley, shortly after he and Ginny had broken the News to everybody- that he could at least move into Grimmauld Place for the reminder of the holidays, if it would make it easier. Now he smiles as he remembers what she had said.

_"Nonsense!" Molly wiped her hands on a towel, leaving the rest of the dishes to magically scrub themselves in the sink. "If Ginny is alright with it, then so am I. You're family, Harry- don't interrupt me, young man, you're Ron's friend first and you'll better let me mother you whether you're my son-in-law or not! You're a good man, and I'm sure you haven't hurt my daughter, at least not on purpose, so as far as I'm concerned, it's alright. Come here-"_

Harry had blushed terribly at that, stammering an apology and letting Molly drag him into a hug.

Now the memory makes him feel warm. No matter what happens, he'll always have a family.

 

The Hogwarts express toots, startling Harry out og his thoughts.

 _Deep breaths_ , he forces himself to inhale. _It's just the train._

That was a thing Hermione taught them all, to better deal with the demons still following them all in their minds.

She's convinced they all need therapy, except she started reading books on it instead of going to see a muggle therapist or a mind-healer herself. That made Ron be sure that she's extragerrating, but while Harry didn't say anything on the matter and didn't go look for help during the summer, yet, he personally thinks she might be right.

They've all seen terrible things in the war. Lost people, too. Been ripped from their childhood- although Harry doesn't quite remember ever feeling like a true child at all.

He's jumping at everything now, shadow and noise, and the worst are city neon lights, or noises like muggle cars backfiring which sound too much like someone apparating... Harry has stayed away from London all summer, holed up in the Burrow and only visiting Grimmauld Place once to make sure that everything was alright there and Kreacher was getting along.

The others think it's the memories of the house itself keeping him away, perhaps still the thought of his godfather, and they understand- but in reality, as mean as it may sound, that's the least of his problems right now.

 

Hugging the Weasley's goodbye, Harry follows Ron and Hermione through the crowd, the other two creating a blockade no-one can pass through.

He thinks he sees a sliver of pale white hair in the crowd, and something like hope tugs inside him- that maybe something stayed the same, that Malfoy will still be there with them at the castle. That maybe they can go back to meaningless snide remarks and house rivalry. Like the kids they once were.

But he doesn't even know whether the other is even coming back to Hogwarts- whether he'd been allowed, as a former quasi-deatheater. Harry'd spoken at his hearing, at Narcissa Malfoy's as well and at some others, and he only spoke the truth at all of them but he knows the Malfoys are the only ones he really spoke positively off, especially Draco.

They were just kids, he thinks again. Fighting a war of adults.

 

In the train, the three of them stay by the door, looking out of the window at the platform shrinking in the distance until they can't see it anymore.

"Come on." Harry feels Hermione's hand on his shoulder as she drags him and Ron around.

"We've got a school-year to pass."

* * *

 

Walking down Diagon Alley, Draco Malfoy is feeling uneasy, and he doesn't like it.

You wouldn't think that it's a new feeling for him, not after last year- but it really, really is.

Before the war, before anything of this had started, he'd always felt like he was on top of the world- a _Malfoy_ , _the_ Malfoy heir, son of Lucius and Narcissa, (almost) top of his class, pureblood of the sacred twenty-eight, bathing in the light of influence and power.

 

 

 

 

 

  
Now, of course, the name Malfoy means something else entirely. Teinted, like while walls stained with blood that was never properly cleaned.

During the war, it was different as well. Always cowering in fear, gritting his teeth in anger but never daring to speak up, pain in his bones from curses carelessly thrown by the dark lord, trepidation controlling his life.

He's never afraid anymore, now. Not during the trials, neither when he nor when his parents were facing prison time. Not when his father had been whisked away. He's not angry, either- it feels like he's spent all of his hate already, first on the wrong people, ones he could never think badly of now, not after what they- Potter, especially- have done for him, after all that he himself had done to them... and the dark lord is dead, and took everything that was an evil constant in Draco's life with him.

  
Doesn't think he can feel anything anymore, at times.

But now it's the uneasiness. It has nothing on the dread he faced before- he's only going to be around other students for the rest of the year, for Merlin's sake!- and it's such a faint feeling in comparison that he didn't even notice it at first. Now that he does, he starts getting angry at himself.

He hadn't been afraid to go back in public in the openly wizarding world, expecting sneers and looks and maybe hexes and a few hidden curses or fists thrown his way- but now that he is there, it's different. No-one has tried to curse him at all yet, and while he doesn't lower his shields he doesn't think that anyone is waiting for the right moment to catch him alone. He wonders whether that would be different, if they were to see the mark on his arm... can't inagine there would be as little hostility as there is now.

Sure, there are looks, but they are not all hatred- some don't quite seem to know whether to ignore him or glower at him, some are plain curious, and the worst of it are the ones filled with pity.

Pity.

He's Draco Malfoy! He doesn't need their pity. Except that that sentiment is coming from a different time and place... and when he allows himself to think about it, he finds that yes, maybe he deserves those looks. Neither a deatheater nor innocent. Neither fully by himself nor with a functioning family. The worst of all worlds.

Thinking back to the hearing at the ministry, Draco can't quite decide whether he aught to be grateful or angry at Potter for making everyone pity instead of hate him with his words. He doesn't have it in himself to hate, so he settles for the gratefulness that he knows he can't shake off anyway.

And maybe that's a good resolution for his last year at Hogwarts: to not let himself pretend anymore.

It never lead him anywhere good in the past.

 

After buying the rest of his books, putting everything under a miniature spell and into his coat pockets, he chose to walk to Kings cross. He has to check the way on a map, he's never done this before. But it's good to be in muggle London, where no-one recognises him and everything is so very very different than at the manor, or Hogwarts.

Before he can cross the road to the train station, a tram whizzes past, not perfectly wired at the intersection, and sparks fly. Draco shivers at that, memories of different kinds of sparks flooding his mind- but he doesn't feel fear now, either. Not really.

 

At the platform, it's already busy, and his hopes to pass through mostly unseen are answered. He sees Pansy and her family at the far end of the station, and Daphne with her sister Astoria hugging their parents goodbye, but he doesn't go to greet either of them. He'll see them on the train.

His own mother hadn't offered to accompany him to the station, and he hadn't asked. He knows she doesn't want to face the dread people show her and Lucius, and to be honest he's glad to be doing this alone. Not just because it seems like at least one step towards real adulthood and independence, but also because, apparently, he's a less despicable sort of Malfoy when on his own, and he can't help but liking that this makes moving about much easier. 

Looking around, he sees people that he has gone to school with over the last years, some he'd grown closer with just recently, some he hasn't seen during the last year at all. 

There's are the Weasleys huddled together, only two left that go to Hogwarts, but both parents are there and Granger's right next to them, all in all still creating a crowd. And Potter... Ah, there he is, walking towards his friends. He has his head held high and he isn't looking into anyone's face... Quite the way Draco used to walk around, really. It suits him... Makes him seem powerful. Not that he isn't actually that, of course. 

Draco himself can't quite decide whether he wants to look powerful or anything but. If he's less intimidating, people are less likely to hate him... But the ones that do might be less likely to start a fight if he looks like he could take them.

He obts to still stand upright, but forces his jaw to relax, and puts his hands together behind his back. Open, and somehow like he knows what he's doing? Whatever. Draco sees Daphne climb into the train, and is quick to follow, leaving the crowd and thoughts about his appearance in it behind.

* * *

 

Hermione feels the eyes on her as she walks through the halls of Hogwarts.

She hadn't noticed, at first, how much attention she gets by other students nowadays- or perhaps everyone had been too busy with their own business at the beginning of term to mind her much thought.

She'd expected the attention of course, at the events directly after the war, ministry investigations and press conferences...

But she hadn't expected the attention those press releases and articles would lead to.

  
"Are you really Hermione Granger??" a little first-year asked her on the way to the library earlier. "It's just that my brother Billy said that you fought in the war against You-Know-Who and he didn't fight himself because our parents say he's too young but he says you're a _hero_ and-"

"Voldemort." Hermione corrects, it comes to her automatically by now. "And yes-" she forces a smile- "Yes, I am Hermione and I fought in the war, but I think you better run off and find your class, studying's important, alright?"

She feels like a broken record, but the first-year blushes and nods, smiles and runs of, and she can breathe again. Hopes no-one has seen. Hopes it won't happen again.

A camera flashes as she walks into the great hall, and the girl holding it doesn't even acknowledge her, as if she's a person of public interest, as if it's alright to take paparrazzi pictures of her without asking. Usually, she'd immediately make the little bugger regret it and apologise, educate on proper manners and the right of everyone to decide whether to be photographed or not, but she's too frozen, too shaken to react.

Stumbling to the Gryffindor table, she sits next to Ron who isn't facing the door and hasn't seen what happened, letting him draw her close and breathing in the familiar scent. Harry is sitting on Ron's other side, smiling encouragingly-

"What was that just now?" Ginny flops down on the bench opposite to them.

"What?" Harry asks, instantly alarmed. Ginny rolls his eyes.

"No bad guys, you goof. Someone snapped a picture of Hermione? And without asking first, I reckon."

"Yeah." Hermione mumbles, but before someone else can get outraged on her part, she interjects: "It's alright, I'll tell them not to the next time it happens. Let's just eat, okay?"

Ron looks unsure and Harry frowns, but Hermione just takes a spoonfull of the closest vegetables and stuffs her mouth full, and Ginny's distracting the boys with some talk about a new racing broom, and she's grateful.

 

Harry still turns around to look for the culprit with the camera- he doesn't see anyone, but instead, his eye falls on Malfoy. A smile is on Harry's face before he can stop it or even think about why he is smiling... But Malfoy is back, and he's looking alright, sitting at the far end of Slytherin table with Parkinson, Bulstrode and Greengrass. Harry didn't even know those were his friends... Although maybe they hadn't been that close, before. The war changed them all, and Harry has no idea what happened amongst the students who were in the castle during the last fateful year...

Draco looks up and catches his eye. Instead of looking away, Harry gives him a nod. Malfoy's brow furrows, but after a moment, he nods back.

 

 

 

"I'm sorry" Hermione later tells Harry, as they're in the common room and it's just them for a minute, Ron writing a letter back home together with Ginny upstairs (or rather, giving suggestions at what to write and being hit with an empty quill for his troubles, both of them laughing before turning serious again).

Hermione feels guilty for a second about waiting to say this until it's just her and Harry, as if she's excluding her boyfriend somehow- but really this isn't about Ron, and he'd probably get flustered and feel forced to apologise as well, and she doesn't want that kind of awkwardness again.

Harry looks up, surprised. "What for?"

"I never quite believed you, when you said you didn't like the attention... I mean, sure, it got a bit much at times, but I still thought that it must've been nice to be in the spotlight, to be liked, you know? But now... I _hate_ it!"

She got loud at those last words, and quickly lowers her voice again. "And they're not even doing anything bad, you know? There's no hatemail or even criticism, it's just taking pretty pictures and asking me about my opinion or saying hello even if I've never talked to them before... But it just exhausts me so much, I wish I could be invisible sometimes, you know? So... I'm sorry. That I didn't fully believe you before." 

Harry smiles and waves the apology away.

"You could do that, you know? I've still got the invisibility cloak... I doubt it could still fit more than one of us properly, but if you ever want to go for a stroll unseen, just ask"

Hermione smiles and touches his arm for a second. "Thanks, Harry. Now... What was that with you and Malfoy at dinner?" 

 

Harry feels himself blush, and really, now this is completely uncalled for- isn't it? It's not like Malfoy is some girl he's hiding from his friends.

"Nothing! I'm just kind of glad he's still around... You know, at first I thought it was because it might mean that things would be more like before, with our rivalry and stuff... But i think I'm just glad he's getting the second chance he deserves."

"You like him."

Harry shrugs. "I barely know him."

And isn't that true, at least? Yet, he can't help wanting to change it.

* * *

 

At breakfast the next day, Luna is joining their little clique at the Gryffindor table, sitting down next to Ginny and taking a piece of apple and a carrot cake onto her plate.

Harry raises an eyebrow. "No-one giving you any trouble in Ravenclaw, is there?"

"Oh, no Harry it is not like that... We Ravenclaws are just overthinkers at times, and with most thoughts ending up in the same scenarios and memories at the moment, it can get rather gloomy. So I'd rather sit with you, if you don't mind?"

"Of course we don't mind, we're your friends, Luna!" Hermione jumps in. Ginny nods and bumps their shoulders together. "Exactly. You can sit with us any time you like."

Luna's eyes light up and a dreamy smile is on her lips as she says "You're my friend too? I'll have to add you to my mural... You know I have a painting of my friends in my room at home? I've been thinking about where to continue painting if I'm adding more people, Neville will go next to Harry and I can put you next to Ron... Dean and Seamus would also fit somewhere, but I'm not sure whether they'd like that, they haven't told me whether we're friends yet." the last part is whispered in a bit of a conspiratory way, and Hermione can't help a giggle. Ginny glares at her. 'dont patronise her!' she mouths across the table. Hermione immediately looks apologetic. 

Ron, not noticing the silent second conversation, frowns at Luna. "You do know that Seamus and Dean already are your friends? We hang out together all the time, and I've seen you do your potions essay together with them just yesterday!"

Luna looks at him, her blue eyes wide and unblinking. "You really think so?"

"Absolutely!" Ron encourages her, and the others nod. 

And once Dean and Seamus come down into the hall a few minutes later, yawning and groaning, Ginny greets them with: "Hey, friend Dean, friend Seamus!" That gets her a few raised eyebrows, but it's all worth Luna's smile when Seamus jumps in and greets them all individually as his friends, thinks Ginny as she looks at her from her side. Dean is nodding along with his boyfriend before dragging him down to sit next to him so as to be able to lean on him, still half asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Why can't Potter just take credit for something good he does for once?

Draco walked past him and a sixth-year Slytherin on his way to the common room, and now he feels like slapping his hand into his face or sending Potter to a mind healer. _"Don't worry about it, it's really nothing, I'm glad I could help-"_ Yeah, sure. Draco knows the sixth year student, Deina Mansfield, and he knows she had troubles with her classmates, the ones that are still more on the side of blood supremacy than anything mad at her for standing up against them in discussions, everyone else looking down at her for not having stayed during the Battle of Hogwarts. She was fifteen then, for fucks sake! Who can fault her for not helping in any way but getting herself the hell out of there?

Of course, Draco doesn't say that. Most likely wouldn't be taken nicely, coming from him. When he heard that someone hexed her in defence, he felt a bit bad, and at least threatened the pure-blood lot not to get any ideas. Potter, of course, did more. Threatens the people calling her coward to go to Slughorn with it (their new head of house), and when Deina mumbles something about wanting to know how to defend herself properly as he asks her whether she has any other problems, he shows her a proper stance and asks whether she'd rather learn a shield or a disarming spell.

Draco doesn't stick around to hear which one she picks.

 

He remembers how at his hearing, Potter had everyone hanging at his lips as he told his tale of how good Draco was, how he had been born into this world of wizarding supremacy, how he had only been a child when he did the worst of his crimes and shouldn't be held accountable, and how, despite it all, he even managed to fight back in his own way and not tell the dark Lord that they managed to capture Harry Potter when he must've recognised his face.

It's true, of course- but draco knows damn well that it's still potter's narrative that mattered, how a different witch or wizard mightve said that Draco might really not have recognised him, or not mentioned the entire thing at all.

Plus, people believe Potter.  
His word means something in the wizarding world, whether the prat wants it or not. But instead of accepting that, Potter has to act all innocent and as if he did nothing special, and he laughs it off now just like he disappeared quickly behind the rows of other witnesses at the trial, probably honestly believing that he only made for a percentage of the decision of the court.  
Draco ought to be mad at him for his ignorance, at bloody least. But instead his heart does a little flutter as he watches Harry laugh with his friends... Draco pushes it away, and forces himself to think of Potter by his last name again. He really has enough problems as is.

Then he remembers: didn't he want to stop pretending?   
  
And while looking at _Potter_ of all people might really be a tad too much, maybe he should start allowing himself to wonder why it is always men that catch his eye.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Harry is flying on his firebolt, breathing in the fresh air. This, at least, hasn't changed over the course of the war: flying still makes him feel alive. He doesn't think he will make a profession out of it, no matter what Ginny might say... but it will always be his favourite downtime activity, he's sure of it.

The eight-year students, given that they are all adults, have, amongst other things, been given permission to use the quidditch pitch whenever they like as long as it doesn't interfere with anyone's practice. So he's racing around the quiddith pitch, a looping in the middle, then around the goal posts on the far end, u-turning around and back- and he sees a lone figure standing at the end of the path from the castle, broom in hand, blond hair glowing in the sun...

Coming to a halt, Harry focuses on the figure properly, and he sees Draco looking up at him as well. Descending slowly at first, Harry then can't miss the opportunity to show off, flying straight at Malfoy and pulling away at the last second in what would be a perfect Wronsky-feint, touching the ground next to Draco. Who rolls his eyes at him. "Really, Potter?"

Harry grins. "What, did I scare you?"

It occurrs to Harry then that this is the first time they talked, since the war... Yet, he feels oddly at ease with the other boy. Man. They're both way too grown up to think of either of them as children.

"I'm only afraid that I won't ever get to start flying with you here" Malfoy drawls.

"You don't need my permission to fly" Harry says, then notices that that might've sounded a bit hostile, and quickly continuing and stumbling over his words as he says "I mean, of course you don't, I just meant that I wouldn't have minded if you- I mean, you didn't need to wait for me to notice you to fly."

Malfoy shrugs awkwardly. "Thought we could fly together, actually, you and me- do a few seekers games" he's trying hard to appear nonchalant, not even phrasing it as a question, but it's still obvious to Harry that Malfoy's ready to face rejection, despite the ---truce

"Uh, sure, but don't we need a snitch for that?"

A smile hushes over Malfoy's face at Harry's agreement before he quite catches it, but it's still gone so fast that Harry half believes he only imagined it. "I asked Hooch for one, obviously" Malfoy drawls, taking the adressed item out from his coat pocket. "Really, Potter, you're so dense sometimes."

It should feel snide, Malfoy's remark, but there's no heat in it and it just fills Harry with a warmth he can't quite place. Deciding that this is not something he wants to think about just now, Harry snatches the snitch out of Draco's hand and lets it fly, jumping onto his broom and racing into the air before calling back over his shoulder: "What are you waiting for? Afraid you can't keep up?" Draco shakes himself out of his stupor and jumps onto his broom, racing after him. "You'll see who can't keep up!" Harry actually laughs at that.

 

They keep flying for hours, catching and releasing the snitch again, they've both caught it quite some times and while Harry knows that in the beginning he was ahead, he has to admit that he stopped counting a while ago. But it doesn't really matter- not when the wind is blowing his hair in his face, him and Draco flying side-by-side at top speed, both trying to catch the snitch another time and bumping into one another to throw the other from their flight path, yet never agressive enough to actually throw each other from their brooms.

The snitch decides to turn right in that moment, which is where Draco flies, and Harry looks over at him to make sure he won't fly into him with a toúrning maneuver, when he sees: the wind has disheveled the other as well, his blond hair an absolute mess- has Harry ever seen it like that? During Quidditch games, it never looked like this, but Draco still used to gel his hair back then... It looks better the way it does now, Harry thinks. Draco used Harry's moment of inattention to his advantage, nearly catching up with the snitch while Harry's a few metres behind and to the left- he ducks down and takes up speed, determined to catch up- he's nearly there when he sees that the wind didn't just blow through Draco's hair, but also pushed back his left sleeve up his arm, leaving the end of a distinct black tattoo visible. Draco turns around to check where Harry's gone, just a quick look over his shoulder before he wants to focus on the snitch again- but then he sees Harry's look nd freezes. Quickly covers his arm again, meeting Harry's eyes with a challenging look, his jaw tense. But Harry doesn't take the bait, he knows they both have things they'd rather not talk about. Doesn't think that Draco deserves the pain that's clear in his eyes.

"Any idea where the snitch went?" He changes the topic after a brief moment of tense silence. Draco relaxes slightly, fixing Harry with a curious look before turning around into the direction they saw the golden ball fly off to last. "No idea" he admits. "If you don't want Hooch to have our balls you better help me find it!" "Hey!" Harry protests "You got it from her, I'm completely innocent!" But Draco is already out of earshot.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Later, as he lays awake at night and sleep won't come, he thinks about the mark on Draco's arm and why he still has it... there shurely must be a way to get rid of it, or at least cover it up, now that Voldemort is dead?

He ought to ask Ron and Hermione whether there's a magical solution... Except they might not be on such good terms with Malfoy. Hell, Harry doesn't even know why _he_ is on good terms with the guy. Although Hermione hadn't seemed too put off when he nodded at Malfoy in the great hall... 

But maybe a magical solution wouldn't be the easiest way anyway, as the dark mark itself is magical. A muggle cover-up tattoo perhaps... That doesn't seem like something Voldemort would've thought to counteract. So if Draco would be willing to try... Not that Harry would try to talk him into it. As weird as it sounds, but the tattoo doesn't actually bother him. He knows Draco isn't a deatheater. But Draco sure seemed to hate the tattoo enough to want to get rid of it... 

Harry's last thought before he falls asleep is that he hadn't even noticed he started to call Malfoy 'Draco' in his mind.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They keep hanging out together, after that. Draco can't quite place what it is that broke the dam between them- the fact that Harry has seen the dark mark without running off disgusted, or just the way it's easy to hang out with each other, or maybe also how they look at each other sometimes, with something more than friendship in their eyes... a mixture of it all, he supposes.

Whether he actually wants something to happen with Potter, he doesn't know. But he's come to terms with the fact that his parents should not expect him to lead to any Malfoy heir in the future, as he has been looking at everyone around him more closely these past weeks, and can now say with certainty that it is only the men that catch his eye. He's never really thought much about who he is attracted to, in the past... As a kid, not yet really attracted to anyone, he'd thought he'd just take a wife to get an heir as that was what was expected of him. Then the war happened, and during his puberty he'd had more important things to worry about than how good which boy's arse looked in his pants.

So, no heir. Not really a problem, he thinks- might actually be better this way. The Malfoy name would only bring a kid trouble. He'll inform his parents of his decision in his next owls- it's not like they have the power to properly protest his decisions anymore, his father in Azkaban doesn't even have a hand in the Malfoy financials, and his mother would never cut off his money to force him to change his mind.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It's Ron who notices the change between them first.

Of course he does, people tend to think it's Hermione who's better at reading people, but for her it's books, knowledge taken by people that are already sure to have found the truth, or at best seeing actual interactions between people and comparing it to what she read about psychology, rather than intuition.

Ron, from a family with seven siblings and two pranking brothers, got used to looking for changes in behaviours, for clues in case they planned to prank him next, and to always know who was currently passed at whom.

Now, of course, no-one pranks anyone anymore. Not just because there's the fact that an innocent prank could very well send about half of them into a panic attack- It also still hurts to think about Fred. Not as much as it hurts for George, he reckons, but still- he lost a brother, and he lost the perfection his family was for him before the war.

Sure, they've always been poor and too many even with Bill and Charlie already out of the house, so calling it a picture perfect family would seem unlikely to many an outside observer. Yet, for Ron, it always was. Always had been, until Fred's death tore them apart. And it could have been worse, he supposes- he knows a girl whose father and mother got divorced after her brother died in a silly accident. Ron's parents are still together, and he doesn't think they'll ever split up. The rest of the family doesn't have any feuds, either- if anything, the end of the war resolved one, with Percy being back amongst them.

And yet... everything feels off, somehow. He can't tell whether it's just him or if the others can feel it too... an awkwardness that had never been there before, everyone dancing around the topic of Fred's death, not ignoring it as much as not knowing what would hurt whom of them more to talk about.

It's another thing he noticed.

And the same way, Ron notices the changes between Malfoy and Harry: he doesn't know what's going on, at first- is Harry just being generous, or does he want to keep an eye on Malfoy because he doesn't trust him still?

Ron soon discards the second theory. While Harrt definitely doesn't replace him and Hermione with Draco as a new best friend, there is definitely something friendly going on between the two of them. And if Harry is so set on forgiving the Slytherin, maybe he isn't that bad?

 

 

* * *

 

They're flying again, and it's starting to rain but they keep looking for the snitch until they find it, Draco's hand closing around the golden thing just as a roll of thunder and a flash of light washes over them. They fly to the ground quickly, running through the mud towards the stands, and afterwards they are dirty and wet and _laughing_ , pulling off their quidditch robes while stumbling into the changing rooms.

Draco undresses too, more carefree than hrs been in a long time. He's not even thinking about what he's doing, for one moment it's as if the war never happens- then he pulls the robes over his head, sees the mark on his now bare arm, and freezes mid-sentence.

How he hates the mark. Showing what a despicable person he is. Showing whom he served.

Harry turns around to see why Draco's turned so quiet- and is met with a defiant stare. 

Oh.

The mark. 

He just smiles carefully, consolingly. Hoping that Draco understands that he doesn't care about the past that way.

Draco slowly relaxes a little, giving a nod and then turns around himself, throwing the dirty robes over a peg and charming his body dry before grabbing his school uniform.

And all Harry can do is stare.

Has Draco always been so- so-

He doesn't want to say _beautiful_ , but it's the only thing that comes to his mind.

He shakes hid head. What is _wrong_ with him?

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey!" Draco is running after Harry before the other can disappear around the corner towards the Gryffindor common room.

They're alone in the corridor, both late for dinner after studying too long- or, at least in Harry's case, pretending to study so Hermione won't be mad.

"Hey, Draco" Harry smiles at him, and something flutters in Draco's stomach both at the smile and the casual use of his first name. "What's up?"

"I was thinking we could go to the kitchen together, get something to eat? There won't be much left in the hall now, anyway"

Draco is trying to play it cool, but nerves are thrumming under his skin. He hasn't been alone with Harry for a while, without any onlookers, except for on the Quidditch pitch, maybe, and even there they can never be sure that no-one has made their way to the stands while they're flying. 

But no students should be in the kitchens at this time, and if Draco will finally be able to force himself to act on his feelings- maybe tonight they can have their first real date. If Harry is on the same page. And from how the other looks at him, Draco isn't very worried.

"Sure!" Harry smiles again. "I'll just put my books away, you can wait here, alright?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Harry himself is also nervous to be alone with Draco, but while there is also something jittery in him that he doesn't look at too closely, most of his nerves stem from the thought of asking Draco about the tattoo.

They haven't talked about the dark mark, ever, but Harry has seen Draco cringe as if it disgust him so much that it is almost painful, or look down at his arm with a hateful expression when covering it with the long black sleeve of his cloak more than once.

Sometimes he thinks he should've told Draco about the possibility of it immediately- at least after factchecking with Hermione that nothing should be standing in the way of it working. But he also knows that Draco might not take him starting the topic well... But After yesterday, he knows he has a chance. And he only wants to help the other, after all.

Why it is so important to him to stop Draco from hurting is another thing he doesn't scrutinize. 

 

 

The kitchens are filled with house elves bustling around cleaning and putting away plates and silverware. Damn. Draco hadn't thought of that. Usually he's only in here in-between meal times, only sees a few elves in the main kitchen and sits down in another room by himself. It doesn't look like he'll get any alone-time with Harry now...

At least the elves have some more food for them, one jumping towards them right as they step in:

"Master Harry! Master Draco! How nice to see you both here!" the squeaky little voice says, the elf beaming up at them, and Harry throws Draco an almost baffled look before remembering that of course Draco must have been here before as he suggested they go there, and did he really expect Draco to still treat the elves in a way that would make them dislike him?

 

They take their plates loaded with all kinds of food, and Harry turns to Draco. "Do you want to eat here, or...?"

"Um, where did u have in mind?"

"There's an alcove one floor up... Should be deserted, I don't think many people know of it." Draco nods, relieved to escape the packed kitchen, and they take their plates outside.

 

 

Sitting down in the alcove, plates on their knees, Draco is picking at his food, not looking Harry in the eyes.

Once his own hunger is satisfied a little, Harry looks up at him and notices.

"Are you alright?" 

"I- yes- I wanted to ask you something, actually?" Merlin, now this is awkward. 

Harry doesn't seem to pick up on the mood. "I need to ask you something as well- I mean, it's just an idea, but I thought... Anyways, you were first, what did you want to ask?"

"No, I mean you can go first, Potter"

At Harry's raised eyebrow at the use of his last name, Draco corrects himself. "Harry." they never talked about how they started to use their first names instead, it's just something that happens- only it makes Draco nervous as he still doesn't quite know what their friendship might lead to, and he's already nervous enough, so he thought- but of course if their friendship _does_ lead to something more, it's silly to start with the last names again.

Circe, how he hopes that Harry feels the same. Well, maybe what Harry wants to ask is the same he wants to ask him...

Harry Starts talking, and Draco's eyes snaps up to his face, thoughts turning to the present.

"...know we haven't talked about it, and it's none of my business, so I hope it's okay that I say this, I just noticed how you-" Harry nods to Draco's arm, where the dark mark is once again hidden under cloth- "how you don't seem to like it very much yourself, I mean I wouldn't-"

"That's what you wanted to talk about?" Draco interrupts him, completely taken aback. 

"Um, yes? Please don't be mad, listen to me, okay?"

 "Sure" Draco says, still too stunned by this sudden change of topic to even start being angry about what Harry is talking about. Well, not really a _change_ of topic, he supposes... What he was expecting Harry to say was just his own wishful thinking, after all.

"I don't want you to think that I think that you're somehow lesser for having it or that you'd need to get rid of it because I don't want to be seen with you with it or anything, whatever it is that you're thinking-"

"I'm not thinking anything. And I can't get rid of it, anyway" Draco replies, secretly grateful for Harry for destroying his fears.

"Yeah, that's what I was going to talk about, because I noticed that you don't really, uh, _like_ it,-"

Draco chuckles darkly. "Despise it is more like it."

Harry cringes. "Yeah, that- so, I already guessed that you would've gotten rid of it already it you could, so I thought- if you can't get rid of it, why not cover it up?"

"What, you mean with the muggle makeup girls use? I already tried that, smeared all over my robes and didn't stick for an hour" Draco interrupts him.

"That's not what I was- wait, muggle make-up? How'd you get that?"

"Pansy uses it" Draco says with a shrug. He doesn't tell him that Pansy thought him crazy for even wanting to cover up the tattoo in the first place, and that he only got the make-up from Daphne Greengrass, who'd overheard their conversation. 

Something seems to be visible in his expression, however, and Harry's face softens as he looks at him. Well, he already knew that things aren't perfect between Draco and his former best friends.

"Anyway. What I meant is- have you considered getting another tattoo to cover it up? I mean, I know it's not so easy with magical tattoos, but if you just got a muggle tattoo artist to cover in the blank spots, so it looks like something else in the end...?"

Draco stares at him blankly. No, he hadn't considered that- was it possible? Was there a way to get rid of the skul-headed snake? Draco's tying not to show that he's about to cry, thought racing through his mind.

"I didn't know that muggles had tattoos" he says instead. 

"Oh, yeah, they do it with ink instead of magic, there are tattoo shops where professionals work at, I'm sure we could find a good one and I could go with you, if you'd like- the ink goes under the skin and the process is painful apparently, but I thought you might still want to..."

"Can't hurt more than this did." Deaco retorts, voice like ice as he rolls up his sleeve to stare at the dark grey image on his arm. He would give almost everything to stop having to look at this ever again.

Harry reaches out, gently covering the tattoo with his hand.

Draco looks up at him, and as their eyes meet, he can almost believe that whatever happens- whether he will be able to cover up the tattoo, or not- everything will be alright. 

 

 

They go back to eating after that, and after a few minutes of silence Harry starts talking about the next Quidditch play between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff and whether or not the puffs have a chance now that he's no longer in the team-

"You're so full of it!" Draco snorts, shoving him lightly, Harry laughs and they go back to bickering comfortably. 

Draco thinks Harry has probably forgotten that he wanted to tell him something, as well, and he thinks it's probably for the best. They had enough deep talk for a day.

Except then Harry throws his head back and laughs at something Draco said, and Draco knows he can't help himself any longer- carefully, with shaking fingers, he puts first his own and then Harry's plate on the ground, and when Harry looks at him confused and opens his mouth to ask what the hell, Draco- he draws Harry close by the collar of his robes, yanks him towards himself and presses their lips together.

Kissing him.

 

For a moment, it's perfect, Harry's lips soft under his own, and Draco closed his eyes before he leaned in so all he knows and feels in that second is _Harry_.

Then he noticed that Harry isn't exactly kissing him back.

Actually, Harry seems completely frozen.

Opening his eyes, Draco is met with Harry's eyes wide open in shock, and he quickly breaks the contact, leaning back and blushing bright red.

"I, Merlin, sorry Harry I swear I didn't want to force you or anything, I mean- did I read this wrong?"

"You- you kissed me" Harry says, not even taking in what Draco just said.

"Um... yeah?"

"You're a guy!"

"...I know?"

"Is that- is that even _allowed_???"

Now it is Draco's turn to look confused.

"What do you mean? Because I'm a- a deatheater, or-?"

"No, because I'm a guy! And you're a guy! That's- that's- I'm not _bent_! It doesn't work like that!"

"Why wouldn't it work like that?" Draco sits back, completely confused. "Is that a muggle thing?"

"What? I mean, I guess? But I never saw anyone, anyone _like that_ here either-"

"Ginny Weasley and Lovegood are dating" Draco feels the need to point out.

"No they're not?!" 

"Uh, yes they are. Like, definitely. And those other Gryffindors, Thomas and Finnigan, haven't they been together on and off since third year?" Draco still doesn't quite know what's going on in Harry's brain right then, but at least his issue doesn't seem to be that it is _Draco_ who kissed him, so- that's something? 

Harry is still gaping at him.

"You mean, that's _alright_?"

"Two girls or two guys? Sure, why not? I mean, mother and father are a bit put off that I won't produce an heir for them, but I honestly couldn't think of anything worse than another generation of the Malfoy name, anyways, so I'm happy to have the sacred twenty-eight turn into twenty-seven- Harry? Are you okay?"

Harry is looking down at the floor, and as Draco softly touches his chin to make him meet his eye, Harry first flinches away- but before Draco can pull his hand away, he takes is into his own, nearly hurting Draco with how hard he's holding onto it. 

And as Draco is looking back up at his face, Harry is crying. 

"Merlin, are you alright? I mean, I can see that you're not, but can I do anything- was it anything I said? Harry?"

Instead of answering, Harry holds onto Draco's hand like it's his lifeline, starting to sob in earnest. He's moving Draco's hand closer to his body, and taking the message Draco crouches down and pulls Harry against him into a hug. "It's okay, it's okay..." He really wishes anyone would have taught him how to deal with someone who's crying now. 

After a while, Harry's sobs ebb up, and he burrows his face in the crook of Draco's neck as he starts to hoarsely whisper "With the muggles- I mean, I guess maybe it was just the ones I lived with, they hated pretty much everything that wasn't like they are, they also hated me for my magic- but they also hate people who are queer, and say that it's wrong and horrible and, and, that they should just all die, and I always knew that I- I like guys, I'm a-attracted to men and I just never thought-"

Hiccuping, Harry stops talking, tears still running down his face.

For a moment, Draco is stunned into silence. 

"I- wow, Harry, I'm so sorry. Damn, if I had known this, maybe I wouldn't have changed my opinion on muggles so fast!"

Harry quickly shakes his head and draws back. "I'm sure it's not a- as I said I think it's my aunt and uncle who are particularly horrible, so I guess I should've thought about how not everything they said was true, but it's just-" he shivers, and Draco rubs his arms and places them both into a better position, so they're sitting against the wall and next to each other, before casting a warming spell on them both.

"That's not your fault, I mean, how could you have known? And I'm sure your friends won't have anything against it even the muggleborn, so maybe you can talk to them about it if you don't believe me that it's alright? And Ginny and Lovegood as well"

"I do believe you!" Harry interrupts him. "But yes, maybe- maybe I should talk to them" he looks at his shoes again, biting his lip anxiously.

"I'm sure it'll be okay" Draco says, trying to be reassuring. Then he remembers something. "So, uh, will you still go with me to get me that tattoo? I mean, I don't want to- I don't want to assume, or anything, I mean you clearly didn't know before, that I am into you I mean, so if you're uncomfortable-"

"Oh! No, it's okay. I- I'll look for a good place and I'll tell you as soon as I know something"

"Cool" Draco mumbles, glad that at least he hasn't seem to have lost Harry's friendship. 

 

* * *

 

 

They part ways quickly after that- Draco seems to worry about Harry after his earlier breakdown and almost opens his mouth to say something, but at Harry's look thinks the better of it. They're out too late already anyway and should go back to their dorms. 

Harry, for his part, is glad to be alone for a moment on the way to Gryffindor tower. He has to think about all of this first.

Does he like Draco?? He's glad the other didn't press the issue after that one kiss... But part of him also wishes he could kiss him again- just to see what it would feel like, of course.

Except- he doesn't have to pretend like it's just that, does he? Doesn't he really _want_ to kiss Draco just because he, well, wants to? Or is that just the next thing he's only telling himself because it would fit? God, he's so confused.

Definitely does like hanging out with him... And He likes looking at him in a way he would never look at Ron or Hermione.

And Ron and Hermione... He should tell them, right? Draco said they wouldn't have a problem with it. But if that's the case... Why make a big deal out of it? If he and Draco get together, or whatever, he can tell them that. They already know he's friends with Draco, and he and Ron actually talked without insulting each other in potions yesterday... So it's not like it's a big deal that he has to talk about beforehand. Right?

Except when he was getting together with Ginny, he would've immediately told the two that he was into her, if it hadn't been for the fact that she's _Ron's sister_. And when he had a crush on Cho in fourth year, he had immediately told Ron and Hermione about it. So wouldn't not talking about it make it weird? The only reason Hermione and Ron never talk about their love life is that they're seeing each other and Harry already knows too much about all of that.

But still. He isn't even sure whether he likes Draco that way yet. Once he is sure, he'll tell them, Harry vows to himself.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! There's more to come, so do click bookmark or comment so I can let you know when I update this if you're interested in reading more :)


	2. Relations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still NOT BETA READ!
> 
> This one's a bit more dialogue-heavy instead of internal monologue and what not like the last one, but I thought it fitting this way, as they're moving away from the grief and horror of the war and continue on living :)
> 
> \- Btw I have no idea whether Charlie Weasley is canonically tattooed, but I needed sb to be for easier plot reasons and he just seemed to be the most fitting character  
> \- Also I know nothing about tattoos, pls don't judge me too harshly for any inaccuracies  
> \- Gay being set in quotation marks when Draco thinks about it is due to the fact that in my headcanon where sexuality isn't something special or whatever in the wizarding world, there aren't as many labels for it, maybe more clinical terms like homo- or heterosexual when sb wants to state what they're attracted to? But in the wizarding world gender is more on the same level of "I like blondes" or "I don't rly do people who aren't as sporty as I am" so.the words gay and straight aren't as much of a thing  
>    
> \- All characters are entirely fictional and not all of them belong to me!  
> Also autocorrect was adamant in changing Draco to 'Draconian' each fucking time, if I've missed any 'corrections' let me know xD
> 
> Sorry for the long wait!

"You want to get a tattoo?!"

"What?" Confused, Harry looks up at Ron standing in front of his seat in the Gryffindor common room.

"Tattoo? Muggle things? Ring any bells? You know, when I had to hear from my mum that you were writing my brother, that's one thing, but you're also getting a tattoo and haven't even told your best mate?"

"Aaah," now realising what this is about, Harry sits up straighter, putting down the DADA book he had been reading. "No, I-" but before he can continue, Hermione is standing next to Ron. "Who's getting a tattoo? You, Harry? Be careful, I've heard terrible stories about unsafe-"

"Stop! Both of you! I'm not getting a tattoo, alright?" Taking a deep breath, and quite glad that the common room is currently empty of any nosy first-years that would create rumors of a tattoo-bearing the-boy-who-lived-twice, Harry continues: "Yes, I wrote Charlie, but it's not about me, which is why I haven't told you about it yet."

"Who's it about then?" Ron asks, flopping down into the armchair on his right, seemingly relieved that Harry hasn't kept something quite as important from him.

"Um..." While Draco got on better with Ron and Hermione now- even as much as calling Hermione by her first name after she had made a point of calling him Draco several times over their latest study sessions- Harry still didn't think he'd like it if he just blurted out that the tattoo thing was about him- after all, the dark mark is a sensitive topic for him, leaving him vulnerable, and Harry knows quite well that if there's one thing Draco hates, it's his own vulnerability.

"It's about Draco, isn't it?" Hermione asks quietly, keeping Harry from having to decide between breaking Draco's trust and disappointing his friends by seemingly not deeming them trustworthy. "You don't have to say, of course- but I noticed that he's always covered his arms, and we were guessing that he took the dark mark, before, so..."

Harry nods slowly.

"Well, the safety issue still stands! I know it isn't a bad thing to have a tattoo, when it's done correctly-" there was still a bit of a judgmental undertone in her voice, though, and Ron seemed to catch it as well, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm sure Charlie knows what he's doing" he snaps. "Or are you an experts on tattoos now, too? Last I checked, you haven't got any!"

"Last you checked?" Harry asks, wiggling his eyebrows, in an attempt to break the sudden tension. Ron blushes and splutters "I just- I meant-" while Hermione snorts, then giggles at her boyfriend.

"You're right, I'm not an expert" she then gives in. "And I suppose I have been caught up in a way of thinking that has a certain stigma around tattoos..." her brows furrow, as always when she notices that there's a wrong in this world she hasn't managed to right yet. Ron rolls his eyes. "Chill, 'Mione, you can't be thinking about everything at the same time, and I think we were all rather preoccupied with more important things..."

"I suppose so" she sighs. "So, are you going to London to get Draco's tattoo?" at Harry's slow nod, she continues: "We should all go together then! I mean to London, I understand if you and Draco want to do the tattoo thing alone..."

Harry feels heat rise to his cheeks at the thought of him and Draco, alone, and he fights off the urge to cross his arms defensively while Hermione keeps talking. Why is he suddenly so awkward about this? It's not even like he and Draco are- whatever Draco apparently wants them to be.

"...just think it would be more useful than sending a patronus or bewitching coins, especially if we might be working or living in muggle areas after Hogwarts- Harry? Are you even listening to me?"

"Um, sure" Harry says, despite still having absolutely no idea why Hermione wants to go to London. "I'll ask Draco whether that's okay?"

"Do that" Hermione huffs. "Now, have you both even started your potions homework yet?"

 

* * *

 

 

As the eight year students are allowed to leave the hogwarts grounds for hogsmeade whenever they don't have class and disapparate away from there on weekends as well, Harry and Draco don't have to wait for the holidays to go to muggle London for a tattoo artist Charlie Weasley recommended to them.

It's just the two of them, making their way to Hogsmeade on a Friday afternoon- Ron and Hermione will meet with them later, as Hermione still has classes and Harry thinks it is better this way, anyway: while Draco hasn't saud that he's against the other two coming to the tattoo shop with them, he has noticed his discomfort. 

 

Once out of the anti-apparition wards of Hogwarts, Draco extends his arm for Harry.

Draco's better at apparition- while Harry had disapparated a lot in the last year, it was mostly side-by-side apparition with Hermione, and especially after that one fateful accident leaving Ron splinched he was always a little afraid to try it again by himself. So Draco extends his arm, and Harry, after a brief moment of hesitation, takes his hand.

They end up in a back alley not far from Diagon, the only place in muggle London that Draco knows is safe to apparate into.

With a shiver, Harry remembers apparating right onto a busy road with Ron and Hermione... Well, it was the war.

 

As they are walking through muggle London, Draco feels a little off for the first time since he's started to frequent the muggle parts of the city since last year. And he knows why this is: because Harry is walking next to him looking oddly uncomfortable, hunched in on himself and always making sure that there is an empty space between them at all times.

For Harry, the muggle world doesn't feel like a safe space the way it does for himself, it seems.

Draco knows it isn't because of him- he really does, as Harry has kept touching him in the casual way he touches all of his friends after the incident, and has also started to linger a few times, with his hand on Draco's arm, or sitting closely next to him when studying in the library. So this isn't why Draco is thrown off by it. He knows that some muggles apparently don't approve of men being with men, and Harry's breakdown has truly shown him that it isn't a joking matter- yet, he hadn't really considered that it would ever affect him personally. It's one thing to hear about something, and an entirely different situation to find yourself in the middle of it.

He wants to tell Harry that it's alright- that surely it wouldn't be so bad if they walked next to each other as they normally did, that most likely the muggles wouldn't even notice, and if they did, what were they going to do? Using magic, they would always be superior to any rampaging muggle... But that would sound too much like something his father might say. In fact, Draco remembers a similar conversation about proper wizarding attire, and that no bewildered muggles were ever a reason to dress in the wrong sort of clothing.

So he obts to keep his distance the way Harry aparently wants to, hope that 0they will reach that tattoo store rather sooner than later, and promise himself that he will give Harry a proper thank-you hug once they're back in Hogwarts. No ulterior motive, of course, he still isn't too sure about Harry's feelings for him apart from knowing that the other attracted to men as well, and he would never break his trust by pressuring him into anything.

 

 

As they're stepping into an alley leading away from the main road, Harry stops. When Draco turns around to ask him what the matter is, Harry takes out a muggle-style folder, handing it to him.

"I know you said you'd just let the muggles choose something, that anything to cover it up would be alright- but I thought, well, maybe you'd still like something a little more personal..." awkwardly, Harry trails off, and with a raised eyebrow Draco opens the folder to look inside.

"Is that- the Slytherin crest?" Before Harry can reply, Draco turns the page, and what he finds are more pictures- drawings that Harry must have copied by hand, and a few that look like they've been magically copied out of textbooks, except they don't move at all.

"You did that for me?" Draco whispers, feeling oddly choked up.

"Uh, yeah... I mean, you don't have to take any of these, I just wanted to give you... options"

"Thank you" Draco smiles at him, taking hold of Harry's hand for a moment before remembering that he doesn't like to be seen doing that, outside of Hogwarts, and quickly moves back again. But Harry doesn't seem to notice, and he smiles back at him.

 

Upon entering the tattoo shop- "Mad Maddy's" as the sign over the entrance exclaims- they both feel overwhelmed. Harry, because there are so many designs on the walls and because frankly, the heavily tattooed woman sitting on a desk facing away from them seems a bit scary- Draco, mostly because of all the muggle equipement in the room. Yes, he has come to be at ease in muggle areas of the city, walking amongst them and not being noticed... but he never actually set foot into a muggle-lead business before, and with the electric lights, metal equipement on tables, and a computer whirring about in front of the single woman on the desk... Her hair is dark and wildly standing up in every direction, and that together with the tattoos is reminding Draco of his late aunt Bellatrix for a moment, and he shivers. Then the door falls shut behind them, the woman looks up and all similarity between her and a death-eater is gone as she smiles at them.

"Hey, come in, have a look around! 'm Maddy, you'll need an appointment with me to actually get anything done, but I've got about an hour till the next one so if you have a question, ask! First time you're getting inked?"

Draco looks too perplexed to answer, so Harry jumps in. "We're here for a cover-up actually..."

"Yes?" she gives them an easy smile. "Drunken decision?" 

Draco shrinks in on himself, not knowing how to explain that it's the mark of a homicidal maniac and his followers without sounding completely insane. He gives Harry a helpless look, trying to convey 'you know more about muggles, _say something!'_

"It was a gang tattoo" Harry blurts out.

"Um. Where we went to school, there was a bit of weird gang activity, nothing big enough that you would have heard of it, but still pretty bad, and um Draco was kinda dragged into it by his- uh, family, and yeah heart out okay but he still has the tattoo and we thought..." 

The tattoo artist blinks at them before getting her reaction under control and nodding slowly.

"Alright- so, can I see this gang tattoo we're talking about?" 

Slowly, Draco pulls up his sleeve, pointedly not looking down at his arm himself. Maddy bends down a bit to get a closer look, turning his arm left and right and nodding to herself.

"Yeah, lots of spaces in between, I can work with that easily- any idea already what you'll want as a new design?"

Draco pulls up the folder of pictures Harry prepared. "Anything of those would be good, thank you"

She flips through the pages, grinning. "Snake enthusiast, huh? Well, I can either add on to the snake you've already got, change the skull into something else on top of it, or just make a bigger snake covering the entire thing, maybe further up your arm if you'd like that? And gotta decide which direction you want it to look..."

They talk for a while, going over his options, and while they do Harry looks over at the pictures at the wall, trying to figure out what some of the more intricate designs are meant to look like... He would like to get a closer look, but he's not willing to leave Draco alone over it, not when the other might need him.

Draco notices him looking, and interrupts himself from what he was saying about the differences in the old and the more modern version of the Slytherin crest- without ever saying those words, of course:

"Come on, Harry, go look at it before your eyes pop out of your skull."

"Oh, um, I- You-"

"I'm alright here, don't worry"

Harry smiles, a little embarrassed for thinking Draco might need any help, but Draco smiles at him as well before turning back to Maddy, and there's a light in his eyes that makes Harry feel lighter as he makes his way across the room.

 

 

As Harry goes, Maddy nodds slowly, looking at Draco with sharp eyes.

"I would have wanted to talk to you alone anyway-"

"Yes? Why?"

"I just need to make sure you're not being pressured into a tattoo or otherwise-"

"What? No! I mean, it was Harry's idea, but just because I've been miserable with- with _this_ \- he doesn't even mind that it's there, despite what it stands for! So, yes, I- I really want it gone, it's a bad part of my past." 

Maddy looks at him for a moment as if trying to figure him out before nodding and turning around to her work station. 

"Well, again, I don't have time to ink you right now either way, so you have some time to think about it. But what I do have-"

She takes out a long sheet of paper covered in shiny plastic:

"This would be a temporary tattoo- not your design, of course, but it's a snake and you might use it to figure out whether you're at all comfortable with the large version we were talking 'bout..."

Draco nods shakily. 

As if sensing that he does need him right now, Harry wanders over again, and when Maddy has Draco pull off his sweater to put the funny temporary tattoo oh his skin and Draco starts shaking with anticipation, Harry takes his free hand into his.

 

As the paper is stripped away, and Draco finally dares to look down at his arm to see the dark mark completely covered by a dark green snake, he feels emotions welling up inside of him that he hasn't felt in forever. Tears sting in his eyes, a sob escaping him before he even notices that it is himself making the noise.

"Draco? Are you alright?" Harry asks, hands flying over his arm and cheek, not quite knowing where to touch.

"I, y-yes, it's just-" Draco tries to explain: "I looked down and I _knew_ it was covered up, but I think a part of me still expected _it_ to be there, expected _him_ to- but it's not, it's not, it's-" he breaks down in sobs, and Harry hugs him close, Draconian burying his face into Harry's chest.

"It's okay, it's gonna be alright, it'll be gone forever"

Draco nods, but a shiver running through his body stops him from replying, and he just presses closer, wishing to disappear completely. He knows he had been holding these emotions in for too long, but he hadn't been able to let go, with the mark still there- except it is still there, the tattoo covering it only temporary, but he will get a real one soon- and the thought of that makes him cry again, flooded by relief and regret and pain. And love, love for Harry, who despite not knowing what to do with the 'gay' thing is still there for him, more than anyone else has ever been in his life, including his own family.

 

"Oh, Draco..." Harry can't resist pressing a kiss to his hair- he doesn't think Draco even noticed, not with how he's still crying despite the sobs starting to cease... then, with a shock, Harry remembers that they're not alone, that he just kissed another boy while in _public_ \- he looks up, but Maddy's turned her back to them, giving them some privacy after Draco's breakdown.

After Draco calmed down a little, he looks up at Harry, whispering " _Thank you_!" in a chocked up voice.

He means it, Harry knows, and he feels like no-one has ever put as much feeling into two simple words directed at him before...

And Draco's beautiful, he realises, even with his eyes red from crying and an uneven blush on his face and in Harry' cheap muggle clothes.

It's a split decision, and Harry couldn't stop himself if he wanted to: he leans forward, and their lips meet in a kiss. 

 

 

Draco gasps, breaking away and looking at Harry with his eyes wide open, the question obvious without having to speak out loud. 

Harry gives a small nod and smiles bashful, taking his hand in his own again. This is definitely worth all the trouble they might face for it, he decides.

Draco grins. "This is the best day in my entire life!" and when his voice cracks a little at those words, nobody cares.

 

 

They- or rather, Harry, as he is more used to muggle money- has discussed the price with Maddy, then made an appointment to get the final tattoo done on the next hogsmeade weekend- "Just call ahead if you can't make it or haven't figured out the design yet, after all"

Before they leave, she nods to the folder of possible designs: "Some of those are really good, any chance I could put some up, if they're not under copyright? Or a pic of what you'll get once it's finished?" Draco looks over at the wall already mostly covered in tattoos of past costumers. "Uh, sure, why not?" he throws a questioning look at Harry, because Merlin knows what 'copyright' means or whether any of the symbols are 'under it' when he has another thought: "But most of them mean something, have specific values-maybe tell them first when someone wants the tattoo?"

Maddy nods distractedly, someone else has just entered the shop, a girl already covered in tattoos at least wherever her arms and back aren't covered by clothes. Draco's particularly fascinated by a swirling set of words and flower ranks making its way over her left arm in two entwined lines.

"Well, we can talk about details when you're back!" Maddy says, and they say their goodbyes before she saunters over to her next costumer.

 

"Well" Draco says, not quite knowing what to say as they're left standing in the room by themselves. "Well." Harry agrees. "That was something?" Draco nods, still a little shaky. 

"But I do think Maddy's right, you should think about how exactly you want it to look like... and if you plan to have more tattoos in the future, I mean look at her" he continues silently, nodding towards the blonde who's has now taken off her jacket and is inspecting something on her wrist together with Maddy. "Those tattoos fit so well together, and I bet she didn't do them all at once, she must've had a plan..."

"You sound like Granger" Draco snorts. "I mean, Hermione" Harry smiles at the correction to the first name, while blushing a little. "Well, yeah, I just want you to be happy with the end result..." Draco smiles at him. "I'll be happy that it's covered either way, so anything will be good, I already told you that." he takes a deep breath. "But I think you're right. I mean, now that it is already covered, I feel able to think about what I would actually like it to look like." his gaze wanders around as he says it, over the abundance of pictures on display. 

"We can still have a look around, I guess?" Harry suggests. "I doubt Maddy would mind" Draco nods, and they stay for quite a while, looking at things- sometimes making fun of how the he'll anyone would close the more ridiculous designs, and Draco nearly squeaks when Harry tells him what a tramp stamp is- but also considering things he might actually like, and where to potentially put them.

The more he thinks about it, the more Draco realises that yes, he would like more tattoos... He had never really had the freedom to change his own appearance, in the past, and now that he has he feels overwhelmed with possibilities. He might even ask Harry to accompany him into a muggle clothing store, some day... 

"Look at this one!" Harry snickera and points at the picture of a colourful little cat-tattoo on a woman's neck. "Think it would suit McGonnagal?" Draco has to snort with laughter. "Oh, Merlin, now I can't stop picturing it! Why, Harry, why?" "If that already broke you, what will you say about a tramp-stamp on-" "Don't!" Draco shrieks. "I don't need to picture any Hogwarth professor with this- this monstrosity!" "Probably a good thing, too" Harry says, thoughtful. "We've never seen any of them naked, so there's really no way to tell they _don't_ have one..." Draco stares at him with wide eyes. "Thanks a lot, now I won't be able to look any of them in the eyes again!"

Before Harry can answer, the blonde girl from earlier comes up to them. "Hey, have I heard this right? You're from Hogwarts?" 

Harry looks up, startled, eyes darting around the room- but Maddy is nowhere to be seen, and the door to the back isn't completely closed- "Mad's gone looking for a creme for me" the girl explains as she notices his look. "So, are you?" "Er, yeah?" Harry says, still a little wary. He's fairly certain she's can't be much older than them, maybe even younger, so wouldn't he have noticed her at Hogwarts before? Especially with the prominent tattoos..."

"I've got a sister there!" she explains, bouncing on her toes. "First year now- huge age difference, I know... My name's Jo, by the way! And oh no I'm not magical myself, just my little sis-" "Shh!" Draco hisses as Maddy comes back front. Jo nods, turning back to the counter before calling over her shoulder: "Wait for me outside?" "We're meeting friends in the coffeeshop, want to join us?" Harry asks, and she nods.

In the doorway, before stepping outside, Draco darts a glance at Maddy and Jo and, when certain that they aren't watching them, pulls Harry in for a kiss. Harry blushes, but hr takes Draco's hand and doesn't let go even as they step outside. He still doesn't actually know how much shit they would get for this in the muggle world... But it's not outright illegal, that much he figured out through library books, so... 

 

* * *

They're still holding hands as they're entering the coffee shop across the street where they're supposed to meet up with Ron and Hermione.

For a moment, Harry considers letting go as they're stepping inside... he could easiliy pretend to need his right hand to open the door, or something, and it wouldn't be because he doesn't want to be seen with Draco, but because he should have told his friends first instead of springing it into their face like that... but he knows what Draco would think, with all the doubts the other still has, so when Draco's hand opens a little, as if giving him the option to escape, he holds on tighter instead.

Ron and Hermione are sitting in a booth at the far end of the store, opposite from each other, heads close together as if deep in conversation, yet both looking up at the same time when Harry and Draco come near.

"So this is a thing" Ron just states with a wave at Harry and Draco together.

Harry nods, blushing, not quite knowing how to reply to this. Are there any rules for this kind of situation? Draco doesn't seem any more comfortable than him. Thankfully, Hermione saves them from their misery: "Did you get the tattoo?"

"Well, it's not permanent yet-" Draco rolls up his sleeve to show it to them. Before they can react, a waitress comes to take their order, and after that Draco and Harry both notice that if they want to sit down, they will have to sit opposite to each other as well, leaving Draco to sit next to Ron or Hermione. "Oh, come on, we don't bite" Ron snorts at their indecision, and Hermione giggles. Draco turns beet red but slides into the booth next to Hermione, and as she asks him something about the latest Arithmancy lessen, the awkwardness broken for the moment.

After the waitress brings their food, a silence falls again. After taking a sip from her cappuccino, Hermione asks: "Why didn't you tell us? That you're- together, I mean? You know that we don't hold a grudge against you, Draco..."

"It's not that" Harry interrupts before Draco can say anything. "I only just learned that being gay isn't a problem in our world... And either way, we only really got together like a minute ago"

"Wait, what? I thought you were dating since at least last month!" Ron blurts out, at the same time as Hermione says "Oh, Harry! I'm so sorry, I could've told you that the wizardry world doesn't have a problem with different sexualities, we learned about the differences in biases in muggle studies-"

  
"It doesn't?" Jo slides into the booth next to Harry, squishing him and Ron a little. "From what I heard, I thought you guys were biased against pretty much everybody! But in that case, I'll have to introduce you to my girlfriend at some point!"

Ron blinks at the stranger, completely confused. Harry jumps in to introduce everyone. "Uh, hi Jo- guys, this is Jo, we met her in the tattoo store, she has a sister in Hogwarts- Jo, this is Ron and Hermione" "Pleasure to meet yall!" Jo grins and gestures to the waitress that she wants a coffee. "So, what's going on with yall witches? My sis knows nothing and my parents won't tell me what they found out but from what I heard there was a war going on, which, what the fuck?"

At this, Hermione casts a Muffliato and they spend the next hour or so telling Jo everything about the wizarding wars- minus a few details about their personal involvemeny- and ensuring her that the war is over, that her sister will be save at Hogwarts. "What's her name, by the way?" Hermione asks at some point. "I could have a look at her, pass on greetings from you and make sure she's alright?" Jo looks grateful.

After that, they talk about everything and anything, at aome point Ron and Draco switch places and Harry is cuddled up next to his- boyfriend? He'll have to ask Draco about that, but for now he's comfortable with the situation, no matter the definitions of it. As they notice that the other costumers start to leave, Hermione checks the time and shrieks as she notices how late it already is.

"Aw, you guys have to leave already? And here I thought maybe we could go out together!"

"Why not? I've nevery been to a muggle bar!" Ron says excitedly. "Oh, sure, I suppose... We don't have to be back so soon anymore, after all... but first we have to find an electronics store, I want to buy cellphones for all of us!" Hermione explains. "Buy what?" "Mobile phones! They're a new muggle way to stay connected- not so popular yet before I went to Hogwarts, and I never had one of my own, but they're pretty much just telephones you can carry around, so I think we can figure this out!" with a determined look on her face, Hermione whips out her wallet to pay for their drinks. Harry has to laugh at her expression. "We sure can!"

 

 

After getting their phones, they debate where to go next- and while they're standing on the street in front of the shop, Ron fiddling with his new piece of muggle technology, Hermione immediately confiscates the phone again- "Isn't the purpose of the to stay connected if we get seperated? Meaning I should get to keep this?" "Ronald, you're unable to figure out how an escalator works, I doubt you'd get far. I won't let you either way. Also, you don't even know how to turn it on yet! Just leave it to me, you'd have broken it before I put my number in otherwise." Harry cockles at Ron's face, Jo is sniggering and even Draco lets out a snort. Ron gives them alk the stink eye. "Traitors..." He grumbles. "And bloody hell Hermione, let me live, will ya?"

As they keep bickering, Jo whirls around to Draco and Harry. "Soooo now that the straights are incapacitated by their own issues- how are yall feeling but going to a gay bar?"

"A _what_ bar?" 

 

They end up not only going to the bar but meeting some of Jo's friends there and getting dragged along to a gay club, as well. After being thoroughly scandalised by leather clad male dancers and drag queens- it's mostly Harry and Draco that are scandalised, Harry because of the gay and Draco because so much nudity is just _improper_ \- Jo drags them away from her other friends to sit down in a part of the club where the music isn't quite as loud, but still loud enough that no-one from the table next to theirs will overhear.

It's nice to talk with someone about their world who doesn't already know, judge and/or idealise them from what they're known for to the magical public, but sees them simply as humans, and for Harry it's even nicer to be in a space where everyone seems to think that he and Draco holding hands is notmal- if anything, Ron ans Hermione sitting this colse are the odd ones here.

By the end of the night, they're friends- all of them and Jo, and also Hermione and Ron are way more comfortable with Draco than before. Maybe they needed this, too- seinf him interact with someone who doesn't hold any prejudice, seeing him laugh at jokes and snort into his drink and, once he had a little more alcohol, even make jokes of his own.

They're all human- and while some of them had fought in a war, they are all still teenagers, and perhaps they have enough in common to get over their differences eventually.

It will be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought about just ending the story here, but I still have so much planned! So, there will be more, click bookmark or leave a comment and I'll let you know when I upload more :)
> 
> Hope you liked it so far!


	3. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2019-03-17  
> Oh God, it's been a month. And I had really sworn to myself not to let this thing turn into another year-long WIP.  
> Well, wish me luck with that...
> 
> There is so much crying in this chapter, get ready!

_A few weeks later_

 

It's night at Hogwarts, and Harry is curled up around Draco- they're in the Slytherin common room, having taken turns in where they sleep together- just sleep, so far- and while the curtains are always drawn around their beds, there's no denying from either of them to anyone that yes, they are a couple. It started after Draco had finally gotten that permanent cover-up tattoo, with him complaining that he kept waking up from Turing over onto his left side and hurting his arm, and after everything was healed and there was really no more need for Harry to spoon him all night, they just kept doing it. And they are both glad for it.

Harry snuggles closer and breathes in the smell of Draco's hair. The other is snoring slightly, but Harry doesn't mind, he doesn't sleep much, anyway, ever since the war. If anything, Draco's rhythmic breathing helped him to at least relax a little at night these past weeks.  He knows he is suffering from post traumatic stress, they all are- Hermione has read lists of symptoms and possible treatments and to ' _please_ seek a mind healer' often enough, and Harry isn't stupid enough to lie to himself about how many of the symptoms are true for himself. And after all, they've been through a war, all while they were, or even now are, still basically children- what is one supposed to expect?

Lost in his thoughts, Harry hasn't noticed that Draco's breath has gotten irregular, but he notices when the other big gives a little whimper, and his body stiffening in Harry's arms. Carefully lifting himself up on an elbow, Harry peers around to look at Draco's face, which is contorted as if in agony- he's dreaming, and this isn't the happy kind. Nightmares. Harry has them, too, whenever he does fall asleep instead of just dozing. 

Softly shaking Draco's arm, Harry whispers the other's name into his ear to wake him- and from one second to the other, Draco's eyes are wide open, he moves in a blur, grasping his wand from the nightstand and pointing it at Harry, gasping for air- 

Harry slowly raises his hands in surrender. "Draco? Are you alright, do you recognise me? You just had a nightmare, it's all good now..." Draco visibly deflates, shaking, collapsing onto Harry and lowering the hand holding his wand- and as he notices what he had been about to do, he all but throws the wand to the floor, trying to squirm away from Harry.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-"

"Draco?" Harry knows that the other isn't one to cuss easily, and seeing him in this much distress is scaring him. "Are you alright? What did you dream about?" "The dream? What? No, Harry, Merlin I nearly- I nearly- Why did you _do_ that?" "What? Draco, calm down, it's alright-" Harry tries to stroke his back, but Draco jerks away, still visibly shaken. "I could have hexed you, or _worse_ , I could have- I could have- you know it's not the person in front of you you have to hate enough to cast an unforgivable? I- I-" "Draco!" Harry nearly shouts, half-afraid it would break the muffilato over Draco's bed, but at that moment Draco's wellbeing felt more important than their privacy. "Please, calm down, alright? Nothing happened, we're both alright..." "I know I shouldn't sleep with my wand under my pillow, but without it there I feel so defencelss I can't sleep at all..." Draco mumbles, and Harry sighs. That's a lot to unpack there, and probably better left until morning, when they're both fully awake and Draco no longer looks like a scared child. Picking the wand up from the floor, Harry takes it and his own wand into his left hand, pushes Draco back under the covers and sits on the floor himself, his back to the bed. "I'm here, I've got my wand, I'll keep watch. Now go to sleep."

In the morning, Harry wakes up with a stiff neck, having fallen asleep slouched against the side of the bed despite his promises to Draco. Looking up at the bed, however, he sees that his boyfriend is still sound asleep. The other two Slytherins in the room- Blaise Zabini and another boy that Harry can't remember the name of for the life of him- are already awake ans dressed, however, and giving him curious looks. They don't say anything, though, probably knowing better than to ask what Draco and his boyfriend have been up to that ended up with Harry on the floor for the night.

Casting a tempus, Harry starts as he notices that they're almost late for breakfast, and he leans over to wake Draco- the other is sleeping quite peacefully, so he deems it safe this time around. "Ugh, Potter, go away, I'm asleep" Draco growls and turns around, burying his nose into a pillow. Harry pokes him into the side. "We've got Slughorn first period, and if you want to get breakfast before so you won't have to eat your potions ingredients instead-" "I would never do that! If anything, that's your kind of a silly idea-" Harry laughs and shuts him up with a kiss.

Zabini, who has watched the entire scene with the kind of fascination a zoologist might have for his newest creature, now speaks up: "So, that's you guys flirting? No wonder... But Malfoy, why don't you let Potter sleep in your bed instead of the floor?" "Shut up, Blaise!" Draco says, throwing a pillow in his direction, while Harry flips him off. Zabini raises his arms in surrender and makes to leave the room, shooing Nott out with him. "So uncivilised!" he calls over his shoulder.

Harry just laughs and flops onto the bed next to Draco, who still hasn't moved and is now dearly missing the pillow he threw at Blaise. "Come on, Draco, do you really want to be late?" Harry asks, then frowning down at Draco's pale face. "Unless you need to take a sick day? That was quite a nightmare earlier..." Draco takes a deep breath, seems to honestly consider that possibility, then shakes his head and pushes himself out of bed with a groan. "Just give me my shirt and put on your own clothes too, alright?" Harry nods slowly, but keeps a careful eye on his boyfriend. 

 

 

As they keep getting caught by their friends- and by Jo's first-year sister Kaja who looks up to the older students with adoration- it's only at the end of lunch break that Harry manages to whisp Draco away from the crowds and talk to him, alone.

In 'their' little alcove close to the kitchens, they snuggle together, Draco waiting anxiously for what he knows Harry will ask him about. To be honest, he's glad he won't have to bring up the topic himself- he knoes he has to tell Harry about it, either way. He doesn't want any more secrets standing in their way.

"Soo, about that nightmare..." Harry asks carefully- Draco had let himself be dragged away easily enough, so he thinks the other boy isn't entirely opposed to discussing this, but he still wants to tread carefully in case he's wrong. Draco hides his face in Harry's hair. "It's not really about the nightmare but how you woke me up, I told you that already-" "Please, don't deflect, we need to-" "No! I'm not deflecting, that's it. Yeah, I have nightmares, but I know you have them too. I mean, we should probably finally listen to Granger and go see a mind healer. But that's not what tonight was about, okay? When you woke me up, and for a second I didn't know where I was and who you are-"

"You said you could've cursed me..."

"That have cast an unforgivable on you. And I mean it." "But- how? I mean, you have to really mean those spells, I know it because I tried to crucio Bellatrix after-" "You tried to _what_?!" "I- uh. So I guess you didnt know that yet?" Harry scratches his head, feeling awkward and a little afraid. "It was after Sirius died- after she killed him- I was just so _angry_ and yet I couldn't do it." "Of course you weren't able to, you are way too noble and good for that." Draco grumbles. Harry snorts. "I don't know about noble, I did try to use the curse after all... So, how did you mean you could've cursed me?"

"I used one myself. An unforgivable. Not during the battle, or anything- at school. We were supposed to crucio the first-years that had gotten detention-" "Oh, _Draco_ -" Harry looks so heartbroken at the thought that Draco had been forced to use that curse, Draco quickly shakes his head to interrupt his train of thought. "I didn't- I used Imperio on the boy that had been assigned to me, and told him to scream when I then cast crucio. And then told him to tell the other first years to just scream, too-" 

"Oh, Draco-" Harry sighs. "Wait, but- Imperio, not Crucio? You know, when I was going after the Horkrux at Gringotts with Ron and Hermione, we had to-" "I know that story! But that's different, you were on a mission in a war-" "And you weren't?" Harry pulls away to look him in the eyes. "Hell, Draco, you have got to stop blaming yourself-"

Draco turns away. "Either way, that is not what we're talking about! I know you don't have to mean the person you're cursing while creating the power of the curse. When I used Imperio, the only person I really wanted to control was my father-

"I- know- that you probably don't want this to be what I take away from this, but- you wanted to use an unforgivable on your father?"

For a moment, Draco just stares at him, as if he hadn't even realised that this was something to focus on. Then, he visibly deflates, breaking down into Harry's arms. 

Harry holds him close and lets him cry.

 

(That day, after their last lessons, they go find Hermione about that information about therapists and mind-healers.)

 

 

* * *

 

"What are you going to do, after Hogwarts?" Draco asks one evening as they're sitting at the shore of the lake, his head in Harry's lap.

Harry blinks, confused by the sudden change in topic. "Uh, get a job? Why do you ask?" "What job?" Draco asks back, completely ignoring Harry's question. Harry lifts an eyebrow at him, then chuckles at Draco's defiant stare, and looks back up at the lake before answering. "Dunno... Try for the aurors, I guess? It's what's expected of me, after all"

"But what do you _want_ to do?" Draco asks, sitting up and staring at Harry. "You can't just go and throw away your life for law enforcement if that isn't even what you would like to do!"

"I'd fucking love if I knew that!" Harry snaps. "Sorry, I just... it's new for me, not having a purpose anymore." Draco makes a face. "I can understand that..." "Can you?" "You see, I was always the sole Malfoy heir- it would have been my duty to carry on the bloodline, marry another pureblood- a woman, for more happy Malfoy children-" Draco's face consorts in a sneer at that- "get a high position somewhere, get on the Wizengamot through bribery as is tradition, mostly just take care of the family money and heirlooms and look good to the public eye. I had my life planned out for me since birth, you know? And now..." "Yeah" Harry mumbles. "Now." He takes Draco's hand in his, and the huddle closer together despite the warmth of the sun in their backs, looking over the lake. 

"I don't even know whether I'd still like to live there" Draco whispers after a while. It's so quiet Harry isn't sure he was supposed to overhear, but he still answers. "At the manor?" "Yeah... Everything is full of stink and memories of _him_ , of _them_ \- I mean, I guess I could just tear half the place down and rebuilt it differently, stay living in the estate, at least... But then I think it'd be easier to just sell it and live somewhere else entirely."

"Doesn't your mother still live at the manor?" Harry asks carefully. "Yes, I suppose, though I don't know how long that'll last... She's- restless- there, and without me there I don't know what would still be holding her to the place." "So..." "Yes? Come on, Potter, I know you want to ask something else." "I just- don't get mad, okay? Remember that I don't actually know all that much about your family dynamics." Waiting until Draco nods courtly, Harry then continues: "So... Your mother won't be waiting at the manor, for your father to get out of prison?"

Draco scoffs. "He better not get out of prison in this lifetime." Harry hugs him closer to his side, hand stroking over Draco's hipbone. "No, I don't think she's waiting at all" Draco elaborates after a moment. "You're right, you don't know much about them, and I keep forgetting that... Mother would have stayed married to father, had the war never happened, I'm sure of that- not out of love, though, but out of sheer stupid pureblood pride. And now..."

"They didn't- they didn't love each other? Like- at all?"

"It was an arranged marriage between the Black and the Malfoy family, making sure to keep pureblood lines intact while not marrying anyone too closely related. It suppose it worked well for them, at first, but I still doubt they've ever been truly in love... And mother despised father in the end, for bringing the dark lord into our home"

It's rare that Draco calls Voldemort that now- _The Dark Lord_ \- and Harry has noticed that it only really happens when he is talking about his family's experience with him. Otherwise he'll either force himself to say _V-Voldemort_ , or _you-know-who_ -, or, when talking about what had happened to himself, it's just his experience with _him_. He's never once called him he-who-must-not-be-named.

"She really didn't want to join the death eaters, then? I know she said that at the trials, but, um- I kinda figured it was just to save her own skin" "Don't blame yourself, she very much had the same typical purebred prejudices as my father- but well, I had them as well. But she was never one for violence, or cruelty, and while she thought other people inferior she still wouldn't wish harm on anyone... No, she never wanted to join. She had to, for father, for me if she didn't want all of us to die or be on the run with me for what she must have thought would be the rest of her life." "Sounds like you thought that, too" "Why do you think I took the mark, Potter?" Harry rolls his eyes. "Well, you already told me that story, but sure do enlighten me on my own thoughts, huh, Malfoy?" 

He playfully bumps their shoulders together, but Draco freezes.

 "What? Hey, is everything alright? Did I say something wrong? I know it's a sensitive topic, I'm sorry if I said anything-" Draco clamps a hand over his mouth to shut up the flurry of apologies, rolling his eyes. "It's alright, now would you please stop making it weird and- hey!" Harry licked the hand that's covering his lips, and at Draco's yelp he just does it again. "Imbecile" Draco grumbles, withdrawing his hand. Harry grins. "And yet you like me!" he says, leaning up for a quick peck on Draco's lips. Draco allows it before cuddling up against Harry's side and changing the topic once again. "And you? Where do you want to live, after Hogwarts?"

"Well, I'm the legal owner of Grimmauld Place, but I dunno about actually living there, it's so gloomy..."  "Sirius black's house? I think I've never been there, but he's my- cousin twice removed or something" Draco replies, trying to recall the Black family tree his mother had shown him many times over the years. "Yeah... Id've moved there with him, after third year, if Pettigrew hadn't escaped. I think he might have adopted me, had he been able to..." "Oh... You never told me that." Draco replies softly. "It never came up, I guess." "I mean, I knew you were all friends, or something, but- I'm sorry." Harry just shrugs.

 

They sit in silence for a while, and when Harry notices that Draco is still stewing about what he wants to say he doesn't show it. "I hate my name." he suddenly says, when he can't take the silence anymore. "Huh?" Harry pulls away a little to look at him.

" _Malfoy_. It's why- I mean, I don't even know why I didn't tell you immediately when you called me by it earlier, it's just stupid, and-" "Hey, wait. Draco. I wont call you- um, by your last name- if you really _hate_ that name. You know I never want to hurt you right? And it's now stupid, either!" he finishes before Draco can open his mouth to talk down on himself again. "Why don't you change it to your mother's maiden name, Black? I mean, you seem to like her better than your father, and it sounded like she's going to divorce him, anyways..."

Draco blinks. "Me? A Black?" a frown falls on his face. He never thought about that possibility before... Never really knew any of his Black family, anyway, at least not anyone carrying the name. "Why not? If you hate your name, change it, and I think changing it to that would create less of a fuss with others than changing it to something else entirely... And I like the name Black" Harry smiles. "if you take that name, that way, once- uh, if we... I could..."

Confusion- shock- then a delighted grin fly over Draco's face. But knowing that Harry didn't really mean to just go and just blurt that out, and also that no matter where their future is headed, it is still way too early to even consider this, he decides to focus on the first issue: "You don't like the name Potter?"

Harry blinks at the change of topic, then smiles, relieved. He shakes his head. "Potter- I know it's my dad's name and all, but- to me it's always just been what I've been called by people who don't really know me or care about me... It's like the whispers behind my back, not what's really me."

"I didn'd know you felt like that... And I am so sorry that I was part of those voices for so long." "'s alright. And- I'm sorry I used to be part of the people talking about you behind your back, too." "I probably deserved that." He sighs. "We were all stupid..." Harry shakes his head. "We were all children."

 

 

"But, you would like to be a Black? And disappoint your parents by ending the Potter line?" "Sirius was a Black, so frankly I think my dad would be ecstatic, and my mom, well, it wasn't her last name anyway, right?" "I suppose so... But not only good people come from that family" "What, Bellatrix? Insane death eater? Which halfway purebred family didn't have those" "Apart from the weasels?" Harry boxes him in the side for the nickname, laughing. "Point. But the Black family that's also your mother, and Andromeda and Tonks, and Sirius and even Regulus betrayed Voldemort in the end... But anyways this is just like speculations for me" Harry blushes. "But it could be your name whenever you want it to be, so, would like to?"

"Yes- I will owl in a request to the ministry, and ask mother whether she's doing the same. As she is filing for a divorce, it might be a faster progress to change my name with hers..." "You think it'll take long?" "It _is_ the ministry we are talking about, plus we are definitely not the only ones wanting to cut ties with out names..." Harry bites his lip. "I bet i could get you two through faster if I were the one to send in the requests..."

Draco flinches away. "You want to namedrop? Seriously? Don't, please. Don't turn into what I was-" "Oh, I didn't- are you sure that you don't want me to? I mean, you l know I never do that for myself, it always seems unfair and I really don't want the attention, but for you-" "Don't you get it? It's still unfair! There are other people who applied earlier, they deserve to get it done in time without us jumping the line!"

Harry takes a step back. "Oh. That's true. I never really thought of that..." "What, A chivalrous _Gryffindor_ hadn't thought about how his actions affect others?" Draco snorts, grinning. Harry sticks his tongue out at him, glad that they aren't actually arguing. "That would be hufflepuff, thinking of others first! But no, honestly I just never liked the attention. So, I'm a lot less of a good person than what people think... I'm just egoistic." he looks distraught.

"No you're not! You had a lot on your plate, and no-one was around to teach you how to deal with fame, anyway. And there is one thing you can do for me." "Yes?" "Come to the ministry with me when I'll have to sign for the name change to go through, I get a lot less sneers and else when you're around." "Of _course_ I will!"

 

* * *

 

 

"Have you done _it_ yet?" a giggling voice asks as Harry comes down to the common room.

"Of _course_ not!" a little third-year answers their friend, scandalised. "My mom says I'm not supposed to until after school!" "Pssh, my mom says I'm not even supposed to date yet, but have you seen Malik's arms?" more giggling. "And my sister says that most people lose their virginity at sixteen-" "She's twenty and hasn't even kissed anyone yet!" "So?"

Harry just shakes his head and leaves them to their discussion. Maybe he should tell one of the teachers or prefects to give them a talking to- although honestly dropping the words 'sex-ed' and 'insufficient at Hogwarts' anywhere close to Hermione is probably going to solve that issue a lot faster.

 

Then he thinks about Draco, and the fact that they haven't done _it_ yet, either. And they're definitely old enough... He knows Ron and Hermione did it last summer, and Ginny and Luna had been caught at least half-naked in the prefects bathroom by Ron once- "They were fully naked Ronald, foam covering up the truth or not stop deluding yourself!" "No thanks Hermione!"

That night, as they're laying cuddled up in his bed in Gryffindor tower, Harry casts a Muffliato around them before turning in Draco's arms to face the other boy. "We're not moving too slowly, are we? I mean, we haven't yet..." Draco's stares him down. "Is that your way of telling me you want sex?" "No! I, I mean- not unless you...? I just thought you might want to..." 

"Why the rush?" Draco's smiles. "We can do that whenever we want to, right? Plus, there are really sexier places to be in than shared dormitories." he sniffs disdainfully. "It can wait. I mean, it's not like either of us is going anywhere- right?" 

Harry nods, shuffling closer again and letting Draco spoon him. "We're solid."

 

* * *

 

 

On the next Hogsmeade weekend- free weekends for them, now, but the name still stuck- they're going to the Hogsmeade apparition point with Ron and Hermione, who will go to London to meet Jo- Hermione promised Kaja that she was going to give her older sister a letter and drawings about everything she's learned so far at Hogwarts. 

 

And while the others are going to London, Harry accompanies Draco when visiting his mother at the manor.

Well, Draco enters with a five minutes headstart- "If I don't come out to tell you otherwise, you come after me!" Harry nods, still scared of the prospect of meeting the Malfoy/Black matriarch, now that he is her son's boyfriend... After all, they decided to break the news to her gently for a reason.

 

Inside, Draco stutters out that "Yes, mother, I am courting Harry Potter, and he is coming to visit us here today if- if you will accept-" his voice falters, and he pales, as he sees Narcissa's eyes widen in shock. "Mother?" Draco whispers, hoping above hope that he is reading this wrong... 

"Harry Potter, _the_ Harry Potter, is coming here, to our home? While the manor looks like _this_?!" she blurts out, indicating the half-finished renovations in the hallway.

"There's so much we still need to do- oh god, what will he think of us, letting a guest into these ruins-"

"Mother? You're not angry at me for..."

"What? Oh, no, darling, you two are a perfect match, to be honest I have already seen this coming since you wouldn't stop talking about him throughout the entire holidays between first and second year- and now that the war is over... Now, Draco, dear if he makes you happy, I'm happy for you."

Draco smiles at his mother, relieved and ready to thank her, but she has already turned back around, hastily moving debris away and muttering to herself: "But especially then, we need to make an impression-"

"Mom! I don't think Harry cares about how the Manor looks right now any more than I do" Draco interrupts her gently but firmly. "I'm sure he just wants to know that you're accepting of us being together. And either way, it's too late now, he should be here any second-" 

The doorbell rings, and Draco gives his mother a reassuring smile as he moves to answer it.

 

 

 

After that, the rest of the evening goes surprisingly smooth. Narcissa and Harry get along well enough, despite a little stilted small-talk in the beginning. In fact, so we'll that Draco nearly forgets the second news he wants to break to his mother: his tattoo, that now is fully covered as of yesterday. 

 

* * *

 

 

A week later, Harry decides that he should bring Draco along to visit Andromeda as well. Teddy, Harry's godson, is related to Draco after all... Harry doesn't even want to try and make a knot in his brain by trying to figure out what kind of cousins they are, he doesn't even remember what Draco said about his relations to Sirius. He's going to ask him, or Hermione, Hermione probably just knows and Draco seems well-versed enough in family tree things that he could probably figure it out.

 

 

As he rings the bell to the Tonks' house, with Draco as the one waiting just around the corner this time, Harry feels anxious yet excited.

"Hello, Dromeda" he says, then smiling as Teddy lifts his hands towards his face. "Hey you, too!" "Harry" Andromeda smiles. "I didn't expect you quite so soon- not that you can't visit whenever you want to, you know you're always welcome" she adds. "I hope nothing bad happened?"

"No, I- actually- I wanted to introduce you to someone..." "Oh yes?" "Not like that- I mean _yes_  actually exactly like that, but the reason..." Andromeda laughs. "Quit squirming, out with it, who is it and why aren't they here, if you want to introduce us?"

"Um... it's Draco- Malfoy. Thought it might be better if I told you first, we know you aren't on the best terms with his mother, but I wanted to introduce him to Teddy- and to you too, of course." "Oh. And, what, you're just letting your boyfriend wait out there all alone?" "Uh, that's what you choose to focus on? But yeah, I mean, he's okay with it, really we're already getting used to it..." "Yes?" "Um, we kinda visited Narcissa last weekend? I mean Mrs- uh, did you know that she changed her name to Black? Draco, too..."

Andromeda has to take a deep breath at hearing her sister's first name. Then she smiles at Harry, although it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Look. You were right, I am not on the best terms with your boy's mother- but that doesn't mean that I have to be on bad terms with him, too. So- don't keep Draco waiting, let's all get inside, it's freezing!"

 

Draco gets to know Teddy, who absolutely loves his cool new cousin.

They stay until dinner, ending up talk at the table. They talk about everything- their families, Hogwarts, the future- the war...

Something Dromeda said- and later, neither Harry nor Draco can remember what exactly it was, and neither do they want to think about it - shakes them both. A _Trigger_ , Draco knows now. He uses the breathing technique Hermione taught them and gets himself back under control, but next to him, Harry's shivering, looking into distance, and Draco can't get through to him- Andromeda is shocked, getting up and walking around the table to see what's wrong, but Draco holds a hand up to keep her away.

Figuring that his sense of danger is most likely to pull Harry out of his stupor, draco pretends to point wand at him- Harry pulls his arm over his shoulder to physically disarm him, then freezes- and Draco kisses the top of his head.

"I could've hexed you!" "Your idea of hexes is _expilliarmus_ so I'd say I was safe. And I knew it'd break you out of it... Hey, you're freezing." Draco turns to Andromeda. "Could we have tea or something?" still a little shaken, Andromeda nods. "Of course, Draco. Do you want to come and see how it's done so you can do it too if you're here more often in the future?" Draco almost tears up at that, but shakes his head. "I'd rather stay with Harry, but- _thank you_."

 

As Andromeda comes back with the tea, however, Harry has nodded off in exhaustion, and Draco tells Andromeda  not to wake him, as he sleeps to little-  better let him get a stiff neck than interrupting his sleep.

As Andromeda smiles and hands him a cup of tea, she notices the bandage on his arm and freezes. "Oh dear you didn't- hurt yourself, have you?" Knowing what she must be thinking, Draco quickly shakes his head. "It's a tattoo- a new one I mean. Do you want to see?" he pulls out a polaroid picture, one of two that have been taken in Maddie's shop right after he got the tattoo, the counterpart now hanging on the wall of the shop together with a list of Slithering character traits.

"You have a muggle camera?" Andromeda asks, surprised, when seeing the unmoving picture. Before Draco can answer, however, she continues: "Oh, this is beautiful! Draco, I am so glad you are moving on from this dark past. And I want you to know that if you ever need a little more family, or just someone to talk to, you are always welcome here- with and without Harry."

 

Andromeda has a muggle camera too, of course, as well as a muggle telephone- and when she finds out that Draco and Harry have those too, she insists they exchange numbers to stay in contact in a quicker way than owls.

That, too, is perhaps out of paranoia born in the war- that fireplaces could be regulated again, that they could need a means of communication death-eaters would never understand.

But whatever the subconscious reason- it is nice to stay in touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a mess... I'd say I'll fix it up at some point but I already know that that won't happen anytime soon so yeah. I had several headcanons about the different characters and just mashed them all into one story, this is the result!
> 
> If you still liked this chaos, let me know :)
> 
>  
> 
> Btw I thiiink I might've gotten the Draco using an unforgivable from another fanfic? Can't remember which one but if I'm plagiarising you please know that it's not intentional and if you let me know I'll immediately give you the credit right here!


	4. Winter Holidays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 19-06-14  
> Tiny little chapter because I didn't have time for anything else just to show I didn't abandon this yet! XD  
> 19-06-15  
> Update :) hope you like the interaction between Narcissa and Andromeda  
> 19-07-01  
> I know I'm writing tiny parts again, sorry! But otherwise I'm not sure I'd finish this at all...
> 
> Don't like don't read, hate I will d e l e t e

 

* * *

Weeks turn into months, and way sooner  than feels possible, the winter holidays draw close.

"Oh, and you're all invited to the burrow for Christmas- that's you, too, Malfoy!" Ron says one evening in the great hall, looking up from the letter he got from Molly. 

"What?!" Draco looks so much like a deer in the headlights that Harry laughs. He hopes that Draco will accept the invitation, though- otherwise, they might not see each other for all of the holidays.

 

* * *

 

A few days before Christmas, they receive an invitation for christmas eve by Andromeda.

Draco feeds the owl who deliverer the letter, opens it, reads it, then hands it to his mother. 

Narcissa frowns down at her sister's handwriting.

"I don't think this is meant to include me as well... But you should go, of course"

"Don't be silly mother, she's not acting by our Slytherin rules, if she didn't want you there she wouldn't have addressed the letter to the Manor but just asked Harry to invite me along and said that that's not an extended invitation!" 

"Still... It doesn't explicitly address me either, so I will not presume-"

"She's just giving you an easy way out! Please, I don't want this family feud to keep going on because of silly misunderstandings." Draco crosses his arms in front of his chest, and Narcissa raises her eyebrows at his defiant stare. When has her son grown up this much?

"You could go visit her? Before Christmas, I mean..."

"Oh I don't know, Draco, at least at a party she wouldn't have to interact with me directly if she choses not to, I don't want to show up out of the blue..."

"So you _are_ coming on Christmas?"

I wouldn't want to disrupt the festivities, either..." At Draco's look, she relents. "Alright- I will visit her, but I am not making any promises about Christmas."

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

So on the following evening, Narcissa does go to visit her sister. 

In a manner perhaps more Gryffindoresque than like the Slytherin she is, she has decided to go and get it over with as soon as possible instead of pondering all the pros and cons, advantages and possible problems, as she fears waiting would only make it more likely for her to break her promise to her son.

 

Andromeda Tonks lives in a lovely little house- nothing like Malfoy Manor, but nothing like Narcissa would have expected from such a Muggle neighborhood, either.

As she opens the door, Andromeda carries a sleeping little boy in her arms.

Narcissa freezes at the sight of the small boy, knowing all to well that she shares a part of the blame for him being an orphan. All words of greeting die on her lips. 

Andromeda did not expect to be faced with her sister, either, and for a moment they simply stare at each other.

"Is this- ah, is this a bad time?" Narcissa coughs.

"No, no" awkwardly, Andromeda steps back to let Narcissa into the house. "Oh, we have a no shoes policy in here, Teddy is way too likely to eat all the dirt on the floor... Would you like some slippers?"

"Yes, thank you" Narcissa mumbles, politely. This is not how family should be, she thinks. All polite and not knowing about each others house rules.  _We_  shouldn't be like this,We my sister. But she doesn't dare speek.

Andromeda leads her into the kitchen and sinks down onto a chair, gently rocking Teddy as fhe boy mumbles in his sleep. She gestures for Narcissa to take a seat and Narcissa joins her at the table.

Still not quite knowing what to say, Narcissa pulls the letter from her robes. "You invited my son for yule..."

"Me and my family celebrate Christmas" Andromeda interrupts her. "I have no desire to keep any wizarding traditions of our parents" she looks defiant.

Narcissa nods. "I- Yes, of course."

"And the invitation is addressed to both of you, not just Draco" Andromeda continues more softly. "Or have you come to tell me to stop interacting with your son?"

"No! No. I simply wasn't certain whether you would truly desire my company at the festivities... I do not want to impose."

"I want you there, if you are willing to put the past behind us."

As Narcissa nods, she is shocked to feel tears in her eyes.

Andromeda must have noticed it too, she changes the topic to something less dangerous and tells her all about the holiday plans.

"I will have some of Ted's old friends over a few days before Christmas, it's a bit of a traditiona as they will be spending Christmas with their respective families... Then Christmas Eve here, and on Christmas day- Yule- we are going to the Weasleys- are you coming as well?"

Narcissa blinks, shocked. "The Weasleys? Molly and Arthur Weasleys? I- 'Dromeda, I highly doubt they would want me there."

"Well, I know Harry takes Draco there anyway, and I know for a fact that Molly told him to invite everyone he likes provided they will not give her trouble... She's not stupid, she knows he'd first think to invite you." 

"Oh" Narcissa is dumbstruck. Andromeda smiles at her. They sit in silence for a moment until a clock chimes four times.

"Oh, the time! I need to go to farmer's market while there's still anything left..."

"Oh, I am sorry, I should not have overstayed my welcome." Narcissa says, immediately falling back into cold politeness.

"Nonsense!" Andromeda interrupts her immediately. "Ever been to a muggle farmer's market before?"

"Can't say I have..." Narcissa looks down at herself. It would be so easy to say that she is not wearing the right attire for an adventure into the muggle world, and thus get away from further awkward conversation. But she promised Draco that there would not be further bad blood in the family for a simple lack of communication.

So instead of using the excuse, she takes a deep breath: "Could you lend me anything muggle to wear?"

* * *

 

At the market, everyone appears to know Andromeda, and not only is she known to them but also generally well-liked- yes, after a few moments of surveying quite how many people approach them, and the fact that this does not happen to all the people around, Narcissa is surprised to admit to herself that her sister appears to be indeed quite popular. Who would have thought?

But when she sees Andromeda smile at the people saying hello, introduce her sister to the people who stay for a chat, talk with everyone for quite a while and give advice where advice is needed, she smiles. Yes, Andromeda is definitely well-liked for a reason.

The muggles at the market are nice to Narcissa as well, in a way she hasn't felt since even before the war... It feels genuine the way only strangers can be, strangers that cannot know about her dark past, can't hate her for it or pity her for getting caught up in it all.

Apart from their prominent lack of knowledge of everything magical, the muggles are surprisingly-  _normal_. With a start, Narcissa realises that it has been ages since she actually interacted with any of them. In fact, the last time she has seen a muggle must have been one the dark lord killed in the dungeons after realising the snatchers yet again picked up the wrong boy.

She shivers, excusing herself from Andromeda and the salesperson she's currently talking to, and strides through the people until coming to a halt in a shadowy, quiet corner and taking deep breaths.

Narcissa doesn't know how much time has passed when Andromeda finds her, raising an eyebrow at her sister.

"I'm sorry, it's not that I don't want to be here, it's just-  _I'm sorry_ " she repeat more insistently, and doesn't just mean that she ran off so fast.

Andromeda fixates her eyes in a stare for a moment before pulling her sister into a hug.

"I accept your apology" she whispers into her hair. "Let's go home"

* * *

 

 

When Christmas is around the corner, Narcissa is stressing out again.

"What are the traditions?!" she asks Draco, frantically looking around the Malfoy library, looking through something about Christmas amongst all the things about Yule. "What should we wear? What do we need to get them? I heard gift-giving is essential, although I have no idea who would gift whom what-" 

"Calm down, mother, we'll be fine" Draco groans. He'd much rather spend time with Harry than his fuzzing mom. "We can wear our dress robes, I'll wear something else underneath for when I go to the Weasleys' after-"

"You're going there on Christmas eve? I thought only the next morning?"

"Uh..." Draco is sweating slightly. "It's kind of a sleepover?" 

Narcissa blinks. "Alright"

Before she can think any more closely about that, he continues: "And just bring wine or something for Andromeda, alright? I think she'll just be glad that we're there" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup I notice Teddy's not at the market, I figured Andromeda would have left him at home with a sort of magical baby monitor or sth idek xD
> 
> if you're still here, leave a comment to let me know!


	5. Christmas Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOh2019-10-08  
> Oh jeesh it's been half a year (original date on this draft-chapter is the 31st of March), didn't I say I wanted to avoid year-long-WIPs? Well, then the Good Omens fandom happened and I got a liiiittle distracted writing over 70 ficlets for the Ineffable Husbands. Oups. Sorry? Anyways, I'm back! Thank you for everyone who commented on the last chapter and gave me the motivation and energy to continue writing this after so long!
> 
> Well, I actually just wanted to make one chapter for all the Christmas stuff, but I keep forgetting to continue writing bc it's not in my first page of fics, so I figured if I post this now you might actually get more faster... Yeah, anywayz, here goes :)

Dinner at the Tonks' place is nice- a lot nicer than Draco had expected. A lot less awkward, to say the least. Yes, he had wanted his mother to come and make amends- but when someone meets their sister again after years of being on the wrong side of a war, things got to be- _weird_ , right? He had told Harry of his fears- what if Christmas together would only make everything worse?- and Harry had given him a hug and told him that of they all make the effort to get along, it will be fine. Draco had scoffed and said that he can't force anyone to make any effort. But then again, maybe the invitation and the acceptance of it were enough... 

He and Narcissa go there together, walking up to the front door side by side. It is then that Draco has to step forward and ring the doorbell, as his mother is too anxious to make that last move, despite already having been there once now.

 

Andromeda opens the door, smiling at them and the smell of dinner is coming from inside. Before anyone can say anything in greeting, little Teddy comes stumbling from behind, laughing brightly and wanting to be picked up by Draco. At that, the tenseness is broken, and even Narcissa smiles.

Dinner is pleasant, with Draco's mother and aunt both indulging in the wine and starting to tell him Both equally hilarious and embarrassing stories about their childhood, which, while certainly not perfect, still seems to have been a happier time.

It feels like being a true family again. 

It's good.

 

* * *

 

As it gets late, Narcissa doesn't follow Draco to the Weasleys though, and he knows she won't be going in the morning with Andromeda either.

It's alright. She already did more than he expected by coming to meet Andromeda. Plus- he doesn't know whether he could relax as much around Harry with his mother there as he would like, so maybe it's for the best.

 

When Draco arrives at the Weasleys's, Ron opens the door before he can even knock, already in his sleepwear- a faded red t-shirt and chuddley canon pajama pants.

"Andromeda called ahead.. Come on in, Harry's upstairs"

"Uh, hi- Yeah..."

Even after being extensively briefed on everything Weasley by Harry- on his own insistence, Harry thought he was being ridiculous but Draco just wanted to be prepared- he's not sure what to expect as he follows Ron upstairs. 

It's quiet, quieter than he expected- did everyone go to be already? The adults, sure but- well, technically most of them are adults now. Still teenagers, though. Anyway.

The house seems- nice, cosy. Nothing like the Manor at all. A tiny part of him still tries to point out all the things that are poorly made, low quality materials, lacking decoration and grandeur- but really, he likes the looks of the burrow, truly and not just because he tries to be less of a rich asshole. Plus, the house is actually clean and obviously well-maintained with the means the Weasley family has. It's a two-story building- Draco knows it used to be bigger and that even the second floor has only newly been rebuilt.

As he steps onto the last step, suddenly the noise that had been missing before gets audible: shouting and laughing and something slapping against a wall?

The house must have been sound-proofed then, probably a good idea if Mr and Mrs Weasley ever want to catch some sleep with all their kids in the house...

 

Ron walks up to what used to be Fred and George's room- it's a guest room now, George couldn't stand living there alone after his brother's death.

Inside, a pillow fight is in full swing.

Ginny is swatting a pillow around, turning around in a circle and hitting everything thrown at her and everyone in sight, using the pillow as both offense and defense.

Hermione has leviosa-d a pillow to float over her and hit approaching ones out of the way, while manually throwing other pillows through the room, one hitting George in the face who had been distracted trying to make Ginny's pillow explode...

Ron walks right back in, picking up a pillow and throwing it at Ginny 

Luna is on the floor, throwing feathers into the air that have fallen out of the pillows thrown by the others.

Then, Draco's  his eyes fall on Harry, holding a pillow as a shield in front of him as he laughingly avoids Ginny's attack, and Draco's heart flutters at the sight.

Harry looks up- sees him- and smiles even brighter as their eyes meet. He turns towards him, opening his moutg- and gets tackled by Ginny and Hermione, whose pillows have somehow began to magically fuse. Might be George's fault, might also be Hermione's spells reacting to something else... Whatever it is, Harry gets buried under a pile of witches and pillows, and for a moment Draco is afraid that it might trigger a panic attack, but then he sees that Harry is still laughing- in fact, he is still looking at him, barely noticing anything else.

Draco can't stop a smile from taking over his own face at that. And when Luna offers him a pillow, a dreamy expression on her face, he accepts it with a grin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments sustain me :)
> 
> Btw if you're also into listening podfic, I've finished the recording of [Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1063526) and also started a new one: [Leo Inter Serpentes ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1509905) :)


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